I cheated slightly this week, cannibalising my entry for the Skullkickers competition that ran recently. It's a bit more on the nose than I'd have liked due to space constraints, but there we go.
PAGE ONE: Eight panels.
Panel One
We OPEN on a TIGHT SHOT of BALDY firing his GUN towards us.
We’re in a dank, dark cavern somewhere underground. The only source of light are a series of flaming torches mounted on the wall.
We can see some of SHORTY’s head slightly off panel to Baldy’s right.
SFX: BLAM BLAM BLAM
SORCERER (CAPTION): “Useless.”
Panel Two
CUT TO a tight shot of SKELETONS approaching the camera-- an undead army. They are all wearing bits of old armour-- a helmet, scraps of chainmail, etc and carrying rusty (but still VERY pointy) weapons.
The gunshots from Baldy’s gun all miss, hitting the cavern wall and ceiling.
SFX: PTANG PTANG PTANG
SORCERER (CAPTION): “Amateurs.”
Panel Three
CUT TO a TIGHT SHOT on SHORTY. Shorty is facing camera and looking at his AXE with an incredulous look on his face.
BALDY: ?
SORCERER (CAPTION): “Who knew it would be this easy?”
Panel Four: Wide panel.
From Baldy and Shorty’s POV looking deeper into the cavern. Marching towards us is a large group of SKELETONS-- an undead army. They are all wearing bits of armour-- an old helmet, scraps of chainmail, etc.
In the centre of the panel, slightly behind the army is an EVIL SORCERER (TM). He wears a scarlet robe and hood and holds a STAFF made out of the bones of various creatures. The detail is intricate and disturbing. At the top of the staff is the symbol of Janus (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_8625SG6CbkU/SyG7VQDXbOI/AAAAAAAAACw/LXSOdB36xm4/s320/janus_small.jpg).
SORCERER: One simple body swap and your legendary skills fall apart.
SORCERER: My army will claim the surface.
Panel Five
CUT TO a TWO SHOT on Baldy and Shorty looking towards us, towards their impending doom. Baldy is on the left of the panel, Shorty on the right.
SORCERER (CAPTION): “With the staff of Janus in my possession I am unstoppable.”
Panel Six: Fixed panel.
Baldy and Shorty glance at each other, mischievous smiles playing across their faces.
SORCERER (CAPTION): “I will--”
SORCERER (CAPTION): “Why are you smiling? Stop smiling.”
SORCERER (CAPTION): “I command it!”
Panel Seven: Wide panel.
ZOOM OUT slightly to show the pair throwing their respective weapons to each other, both ready to catch the other as they arc through the air.
Panel Eight: Fixed/Wide panel.
Baldy and Shorty both now have their respective weapons in their hands. Baldy (really Shorty) holds his trusty AXE and Shorty (really Baldy) aims his GUN towards us.
Both have now broken out into wide, toothy grins.
Shit’s about to get real.
BALDY: Better?
SHORTY: Much.
BALDY: Shall we?
){kind=link}
Wacky fun right there, but what really won me over was the use of "Y'All" in the title.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't care what anyone says, I love bodyswaps.
It does seem a bit panel-heavy though, even considering the small ones at the start. Maybe I'm just imagining it too big though.
Admittedly a little full for a single page, I feel like the pot calling the kettle black considering that I threw out 9 panels.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I really like the idea and where you take it here. The frustration between Shorty and Baldy and the Sorceror's frustration with the both of them work quite well.
Also, don't feel bad about reusing your Tavern Tales Contest idea, 'cause I definitely did the same thing...
Love the title. Tell me, did the story finish with the two simply breaking the staff?
ReplyDeleteIt is a little crowded-- slimming this down from 5 pages to 1 and still getting across the concept proved tricky. If I'd let it gestate a bit more I could have probably come up with a more economical approach.
ReplyDeleteAfter swapping weapons Baldy (really shorty) would have said
"I always wanted to try this" and then promptly throws shorty (really baldy) at the remaining skeletons fastball special styl. The sorcerer was then knocked out by a headbutt.
Shorty (still baldy) grabs the staff, turns around and kicks Baldy in the balls.
The next panel would be shorty (still really Baldy, waiting for his companion to recover) sitting atop Baldy
"Tell me when it stops hurting"