ONE PAGE.
5 PANELS.
1. A piece of
parchment is nailed to a wooden notice board. We are tight on the parchment so
the reader can make out what is written on it.
Pest control needed.
A Giant Rat infestation troubles a Taverns cellar.
Speak to Gif at The Sleeping Dragon Tavern if
interested.
2. We have
pulled back BALDY and SHORTY are looking at each other smiling. The notice
hangs on the board in between them.
NO
COPY
3. SHORTY’s
gloved hand pulls the notice down from the board. They are taking the job on.
SFX
FHHHHT
4. BALDY and
SHORTY stand at the bar of THE SLEEPING DRAGON TAVERN. They are talking to the
large fat, yet joyful looking bar keep He is cleaning a mead tankard with his
dirty shirt corner.
GIF
1
Oh
aye we been having a problem with them bloody giant rats.
It’s
always the way with these old taverns.
GIF
2
Shall
I show you lads to the cellar then?
5. From behind
BALDY and SHORTY we are looking up at the huge Bear sized Rat that stands
before them. It has risen up on its back legs like a bear does. Its long pink
rat-tail flails around wildly behind it. Its long front tooth hangs menacingly
from its huge salivary jaw.
SHORTY
He's a big one.
BALDY
One? Didn't the notice say them?
GIANT
RAT
Squeeekk.
Nice simple page here, Shaun. The idea is solid and the execution works well. I like that you let the images do all the talking and save the punchline for that last moment. This is a page that could stand on its own (as it does here) or start off the beginning of a longer story. I dig it.
ReplyDeleteReally effective time jumping here - so effective that I think Panel 3 isn't necessary. By omitting it, you set up the time jumps earlier on, so the last panel flows on better. Great work, however. Great subtle comedic tone here.
ReplyDeleteSimple, effective with a great pay off/last panel. Excellent economic storytelling.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the nice feedback boys, in all honesty been finding my writing difficult at the moment this has given me a nice little boost.
ReplyDelete