Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Etrigan- The Devil Made Me Do It -Dan Hill

Page One

Panel One
We open on a WIDE PANEL, an establishing shot of Paris circa 1940. The panel is dominated by the Arc De Triomphe in the centre of the page. Nazi banners and regalia are everywhere, fluttering in the afternoon breeze as people go about their business the best they can.

CAPTION:  Paris, 1940.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  There are monsters here--

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  --but I seek only one.

Panel Two
CUT TO another WIDE PANEL, an establishing shot of a basement somewhere underneath the streets of Paris.

The basement has stone walls and is lit by mounted paraffin lamps. Against the back wall sits a solitary coal stove. A MAN stands in front of it, his back to us. He’s wearing a shirt, an apron and cotton trousers.

Behind him, scattered casually are the bodies of three young men, partly covered by flickering shadows.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  Amidst the chaos he toils away.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  A metropolis lost to despots makes for easy prey.

Panel Three
CUT TO a  TIGHT SHOT on the man, now facing us. This is MARCEL PETIOT, a man in his mid to late forties with a shock of black hair, bushier in the middle than anywhere else, giving him an eccentric look.  

Marcel wipes his hands with a bloody rag.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  This man has let the devil on his shoulder have the final say--

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  -- a battle I fight myself with each passing day.

Panel Four
CUT TO a CLOSE UP on the stone floor of the basement. In the background we can see the bodies of the young men. In the foreground of the panel sits a small pile of their possessions-- identification papers, a few coins, curled photographs of loved ones and even a yellow patch in the shape of the Star of David sporting the text ‘JUDE’.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  He feeds on the weak and the lost.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  I have been tasked with retrieving him, no matter the cost.

Panel Five
CUT TO a shot facing Marcel. He’s standing in front of an open doorway, continuing to clean his hands. The doorway leads into a smaller coal cellar. It is cloaked in darkness. We can see nothing beyond the doorframe.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  There are monsters here, but I seek only one.

Panel Six
Fixed panel. Behind a clueless Marcel the hulking form of Etrigan steps out through the doorway and out of the darkness, eyes burning ruby red.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  Tremble and quake, o servant of Neron.

Etrigan - Dirty Demon - Grant McLaughlin

1 - An outside shot of a convenience store.  Although it is daytime, you can see fire and light emerging from the windows and doors.

ETRIGAN: I have always loved to fight
All of Hell's many denizens.
Demons, devils, monsters, wights -
Not a question of "if", but "when".

2 - Interior shot.  Etrigan is looking upwards and posing dramatically, spitting hellfire from his mouth.  He looks the worse for wear: his clothes are ripped, little remains of his cape, and he is bloodied and bruised, as if coming from a difficult battle.  There are not many people left in the store, but any who are are rushing out at full speed.

ETRIGAN: While I relish shedding their blood,
It is not always roses and dells.
Their viscera, innards, and cruds
Can have a most loathsome smell.

3 - Despite his injuries, Etrigan calmly walks through the aisles.  Show that the store has also taken some damage: spilled products, small fires, destroyed sections, and the like.

ETRIGAN: Thus, it is more than just my hands
That will not easily come clean.
As if bound by iron bands,
Enslaved to those infernal machines.

4 - Etrigan walks toward the counter, pointing at the teenage cashier who is huddling on the floor behind the counter.

ETRIGAN: The quest falls to you, young porter,
To solve my dilemma and quandry.

5 - Switch angles to a worm's eye view type thing.  The cashier looks up in terror.  Etrigan stands at the counter, holding out a twenty dollar bill.

ETRIGAN: Would you have change in quarters,
So that I may do my laundry?

Monday, July 30, 2012

Etrigan - Silence is Golden - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Jason Blood kneels, hand flat on the ground in the dark woods.  He is looking up, blood pouring from his mouth. We see from behind a shadowed arm holding something wet and dripping. Jason Blood looks at this person with hatred.

2.  A reveal of the shadowed person.  It is Lord Satanus, holding the tongue of Jason Blood, smiling evily.

3.  A close up of Jason’s hands, stained with blood.  He is writing something in the ground as Lord Satanus talks. We make out the words Rise, the Demon Etrigan” scrawled in the dirt.

4.  Blood transforms into Etrigan, and is lunging at Lord Satanus.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Etrigan - Guédé Bokor Zydeco - Raymond Wonsowski

(Like all of us, I'm sure, we all have a few "dream projects".  One of mine is to do a Vertigo reboot of The Demon, set in New Orleans.  The central plot of the series would revolve around the return of Morgainne de la Fey, which would be heralded by three "harbinger-bearers":  Klarion the Witch-Boy, the illegitimate son of Vlad Tepes, and this character...

Rouleaux is a vodun Bokor.  If you need a parallel, in voodoo, a "houngan" would be like a priest; a "bokor" would be a sorceror.  He can access the "loa" or spirits of both good and evil, "serve with both hands" as they say, and are rumoured to be born into great "ashe", or power...)

Setting:  Interior, an abandoned plantation house - main salon.  Everything should look delapidated or rotten, except for a clean cube of butcher's-block (this is Rouleaux's altar) with meter-square sides.  At the foot of the altar are piles of skulls, mostly human but some are animal as well.  They are covered in, and coloured by, years' worth of candle wax.  There are presently about a dozen candles burning on the skulls now.  On the altar should be the following:  A bottle of amber rum, a small mound of fresh cigars, a straight razor with a dirty blade, and an old, small portable radio with a cassette player (artist should somehow indicate that drum music is playing from it).  Three young and buxom red-haired women in loose white robes lie semi-conscious on the floor.

Panel 1 - We are looking from over ETRIGAN's shoulder, seeing what he sees:  Levitating one or two feet above the hardwood floor is a large boa constrictor, looped in a loose knot.  Levitating about six inches above the snake is the Bokor ROULEAUX, sitting cross-legged.  He is a large African, dressed like Baron Samedi, but bare-chested:
and his bare feet are cut and bleeding.  He is holding a bottle of dark rum in one hand, the neck broken jaggedly.  His other hand, his index and middle fingers had been dipped in the rum and is writing magick script, hanging in the air, with the dark liquid.

ROULEAUX:  The loa have revealed your true ancestry, daemon.

ROULEAUX:  Etrigan.  Son of Belial.  Spawn of Lilith, the raan-va-dhath of the Pit.  Second generation of Ashteroth the Daemonfather himself.

ROULEAUX:  I have your line, hellspawn!

Panel 2 - The yellow, claw-like hand of ETRIGAN, yanks the rum from ROULEAUX's hand by the broken neck.  ROULEAUX is surprised, ETRIGAN is smirking.

ETRIGAN:  Well...

ETRIGAN:  If I was devil, a deal could be negotiated
                  But a demon, such as I, is privately motivated... 

Panel 3 - ETRIGAN draws a wide rum ring in front of him in the air from the bottle, facing ROULEAUX.

ETRIGAN:  And it seems we have the pleasures of meeting before us
                  The Baron himself, far from the deadlands mortals fear.

Panel 4 - ETRIGAN blows a tight jet of hellfire from his pursed lips, setting the floating rum circle to swirl aflame.  His hand gestures to the redheads on the floor.

ETRIGAN:  With three fleshy treasures, here - forgive us this chorus...

Panel 5 - The burning circle has now become an orange glowing sigil: the vede of the death loa Maman Brigitte:

The glowing sigil reflecting off ETRIGAN's toothy smiling face accents his demonic nature.

ETRIGAN:  Tell me, does your lovely wife, the Maman Brigitte, know you're here?

Panel 6 - We see ROULEAUX's face contort in fear as he tries to turn away from ETRIGAN and the sigil, which has two chalky arms with bony hands and long nails reaching through the spaces in the sigil (we don't know if he's afraid of what comes from the sigil, or the Demon behind it).  ETRIGAN's arms are thrown wide, his head is thrown back as he laughs...

MAMAN BRIGITTE:  (from the sigil) ...ssssSaM-M-Me-Diiii...

ETRIGAN:  HAAhahahahahaaaa!!!

(to be continued...)

Why (the Hell) Etrigan?

I happen to be a HUGE fan of Jack Kirby (who ISN'T a fan of the King?), but specifically, I think his true genius was in the work he did for DC in the 1970's.  Not only did he give us Darkseid and the NEW GODS saga, he told dystopian parallel tales in both O.M.A.C. and KAMANDI...and then he gave us a little taste of Hell...

Etrigan is the son of Belial, and thus a demon prince.  To forstall the fall of Camelot, Merlin (Etrigan's half-brother!) bound him to a "cage of meat", Jason Blood.  With the Demon inside of him, Blood is effectively immortal, and uses Etrigan's knowledge to his benefit as an occult archaeologist, and usually working on the side of angels, keeping evil effectively in check.  As Merlin's sibling, Etrigan has knowledge of magic; when pushed, he can breathe dragon-like jets of hellfire on his foes.  And in all of humanity, he hates his "cage" the most, and likes to psychologically keep him off-kilter.

What makes Etrigan a challenge to write is that when Etrigan was "promoted" in the infernal heirarchy, he became a "rhymer".  The more complicated the rhyming, it is assumed, the greater the influence a demon has in the underworld.  When your poets consist of the likes of Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, Matt Wagner, Garth Ennis, et al, we can assume his ranking is high indeed.

Even when Blood lets the Demon take over, it's in verse:
Yarva Demonicus Etrigan.
Change, change the form of man.
Free the prince forever damned.
Free the might from fleshy mire.
Boil the blood in heart of fire.
Gone, gone the form of man,
Arise the demon - Etrigan!

          (usually only the last two lines are necessary for the change)

Today, Paul Cornell chronicles the adventures of Etrigan in the excellent Demon Knights of the New 52, taking the character back to his Camelot roots, but he also has been known to pal around with Batman, Swamp Thing, Lobo...or whoever he feels like giving hell...

So, my scriveners, weave your pages
In verse and poems or popular tunes
As Etrigan fights evil with evil through the ages
And within our humble Thought-Balloons.

          ..."the American Zombie"
Self-Portrait, as the Demon ETRIGAN

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Foggy Nelson - Double Trouble - R.A. Wonsowski

SPLASH PAGE:  Done in the Silver Age style.

Setting/Background:  New York City Family Court courtroom.  It is completely wrecked: the judge's bench is shattered, the lawyers' tables are overturned, the witness stand is charred.   The judge is hiding behind her bench, gavel shaking in her hand.  MATT MURDOCK is wounded and unconscious, head resting on the lap of the court stenographer.  The bailiffs are out cold on the floor.  Also lying unconscious on the floor are Iron Fist, the Punisher, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Mockingbird, Misty Knight, and Machine Man.

Foreground:  the headgear of numerous A.I.M. agents; they are brandishing science-fiction-y weapons in their hands.

Midground:  Facing the A.I.M. agents, standing in classic boxing stances, are FOGGY NELSON and J. JONAH JAMESON.  Their ties are unblocked, and their suits are a little dishevelled.  Foggy has his leather attache case in one hand, as if ready to clock somebody with it.  Between them, hiding between their legs, is a little girl, about 5 years old, with a stuffed Black Panther toy.  The belly of the toy is surrounded by SFX reading "tk - tk - tk - tk".


It was a custody case like no other!  
The father - the Kingpin's Accountant!!  
The mother - the Mistress of M.O.D.O.K.!!!  
The child - unaware that she possesses a secret weapon that could destroy all New York!!!!

The only things standing between this cherubic little girl and certain death at the hands of A.I.M. - - - 

FOGGY "GUTS" NELSON!  Two-Fisted Lawyer-At-Large!

J. JONAH JAMESON!  The People's Champion!

It's a tale that could never be told...UNTIL NOW!

A Wonsowski-Colan-Buscema Joint.  'Nuff Said!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Foggy Nelson, Agent of SHIELD - J.D. Coughlan

SET-UP: Black Widow, Spider-Woman, She-Hulk and Captain America are captured and tied up aboard Red Skull's evil airship! When suddenly, Foggy Nelson, Agent of SHIELD, smashes in and sends the Skull falling to his fate!

Panel 1: Foggy, in a standard SHIELD uniform, and somewhat trimmer than usual, stands in front of the broken window Red Skull fell out of. He is holding two massive guns and wearing awesome sunglasses. Behind him is Cap, She-Hulk, Spider-Woman and Black Widow, all tied to chairs and looking at him in awe.

FOGGY: I rest my case.

Panel 2: The captives are freed. Cap shakes Foggy's hand; Cap is smiling like he met his hero, Foggy is nonchalant. The women are cheering.

CAPTION: Within seconds!

CAPT. AMERICA: God bless you, Foggy Nelson!


Panel 3: Nick Fury, panicked, bursts in from the next room (that's right; the next room in Red Skull's airship) clutching a piece of paper.

CAPTION: Suddenly!

NICK FURY: Great Scott, Foggy! This just in!

NICK FURY: Dr. Doom and Ultron have joined forces and have combined the Ultimate Nullifier, the Cosmic Cube and the Infinity Gauntlet into the Infinite Cubifier, and are threatening to blow up every orphanage in the world!

Panel 4: Close on Foggy.

FOGGY: Turn on your highbeams, Fury, 'cause things are about to get...

Panel 5: Same, except Foggy is putting another pair of sunglasses on over his existing pair.


Panel 6: Very close on Foggy's eyes (as covered by two pairs of sunglasses).

FOGGY: Foggy.


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Foggy Nelson – Dorm Days – MK Stangeland Jr.

(Set during the early days of when MATT MURDOCK and FOGGY NELSON were college roommates.)

(5 Panels)

Panel 1: Close up of MATT MURDOCK’s face with his hands clasped in front of him. The page should be done in the art style of Daredevil’s ‘echolocation lines’ as seen in the Mark Waid written Daredevil comics. As far as we can tell by the lines, MATT looks ‘out of it’, as if he’s half-asleep.

Panel 2: Panel transitions to a regular art style. A hand – from FOGGY NELSON - is near the side of MATT MURDOCK’s head snapping its fingers. MATT come at attention as the sound is more effective on him than FOGGY realizes.

SFX: *Snap!*snap!*

FOGGY NELSON: (Off-Panel) Matt, you there? Hello?


Panel 3: Panel shows both MATT MURDOCK and FOGGY NELSON in a University Library table where they look like they’ve been attempting to study, in spite of MATT half-dozing off.

FOGGY NELSON: Matt, buddy, you here? You look out of it.

MATT MURDOCK: Yes, sorry.

Panel 4: FOGGY NELSON doesn’t look like he’s entirely convinced.

FOGGY NELSON (1): You sure?

FOGGY NELSON (2): I can understand if you’re burning the candles at both ends, Matt. I don’t think there’s anyone here who doesn’t. But everyone has their limits.

Panel 5: Panel of MATT MURDOCK at the table, but with a background that shows a different ‘imaginary’ scene of MATT as DAREDEVIL (in original yellow-themed costume) on a rooftop during the night.

MATT MURDOCK: Believe me, I know.


Foggy Nelson- Midnight Oil -Dan Hill

Page One (7 Panels)

Panel One
We OPEN inside the offices of Murdock and Nelson. It's well past the witching hour as FOGGY sits behind a desk. Books are strewn about on the desk along with a steaming cup of coffee. A desk lamp burns in the gloom of the office as moonlight streams down from the off panel skylight.

Foggy studies the books in front of him, a concentrated look on his face.

 CAPTION:  I will lead the blind by ways they have not known...

Panel Two
A shot looking up from the desk towards the skylight. We can see the moon, full in the sky, and DAREDEVIL leaping across the skylight on his way to some nefarious misdeed.

CAPTION:  ...along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;

Panel Three
CUT TO a tight shot of Foggy, still at his desk. He looks extremely fed up.

CAPTION:  I will turn the darkness into light before them...

Panel Four
CUT TO a WIDE PANEL of Daredevil somewhere else in town. He's in a sleazy looking back alley bar, all neon and sawdust.

Several of the patrons lie unconscious at his feet having made their acquaintance with his billy club.

Despite this, a few more of the less intelligent customers have begun to encircle DD.

Round Two.

CAPTION:  ...and make the rough places smooth.

Panel Five
CUT TO a chair somewhere in the offices of Nelson And Murdock. Daredevil's costume is draped over the chair. It's still night, shadows from the skylight are thrown across the panel in a criss cross manner.


Panel Six
CUT TO Foggy, still at his desk. He looks haggard and rumpled. But he's still studying. His determination shines through.

Behind him, over his shoulder, we can see Matt Murdock smiling. He's putting a reassuring hand on Foggy's shoulder.

CAPTION:  These are the things I will do;

Panel Seven
CUT TO a WIDE PANEL of Foggy and Nelson in the same office. It's morning now and both of them look presentable, businesslike even, despite their activities the night before.

A worried looking CLIENT, a portly man in his 50's, sits in a chair opposite the desk. On the desk we can see folders and documents spread out in an organised manner.

Foggy and Matt talk the client calmly through the coming storm. Foggy is still in the chair with Matt standing slightly behind him gesticulating, ever the showman.

CAPTION:  I will not forsake them.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Foggy Nelson - Blind Date - Grant McLaughlin

6 panels distributed among three rows.  First row has 2 panels.  Second row has 3 panels.  Third row has 1 panel.

1 - Foggy's apartment.  Foggy is adjusting his bowtie in the mirror, looking nervous.  Matt stands slightly back and to the side, looking pleased with himself.  Have the panel have a slight sheen to it, as this panel is the mirror's reflection.

FOGGY: I don't know about this, Matt.

MATT: Nonsense!  You've been off the market too long!  It's time to get back out there and see what's on offer!

2 - Same positioning, but reversed.  This panel is "real life".  Foggy looks towards Matt, curious.  Matt continues to smile.

MATT: You'll have a great time, Foggy.  I promise you that you'll love this girl.

FOGGY: That's the other thing - how many beautiful lawyers have you been keeping to yourself?

3 - Matt is walking away, moving behind Foggy.  Matt looks a bit smugger than before.  Foggy is turning around to see Matt as he goes.

MATT: The number would surprise you.

FOGGY: What --

SFX (interrupting): Ding Dong!

4 - Matt perks up a bit in response to the doorbell.  He moves towards the next room.

MATT (1): Oh!  Here's our lovely lady now!

MATT (2): Coming!

5 - Matt holds the door and points towards the recent arrival (who is still off-panel).  Foggy looks pleasantly surprised.

MATT: Franklin P. Nelson, may I introduce you to...

6 - Switch angle to focus on our new guest.  It's Jennifer Walters!  She's blushing a little bit and waving somewhat awkwardly.

MATT: Jennifer Walters!

JENNIFER (shyly): Hi.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Foggy Nelson – The Rain has Gone – Ben Rosenthal

1.  Matt and Foggy sit out the front of a cafe.  It is a bright, sunny day as the two men finish their light meal, sunglasses on.

How are you coping?

2.  A tight shot of Foggy.  We can see Matt’s reflection in Foggy’s sunglasses. Matt looks worried.

There’s a lot to get use to, but I think I’m getting the hang of it.  I mean, if you can do it I shouldn't have a problem, right?

3.  A wider shot than the first panel.  Matt is reaching for a cane which is leaning up against the side of the table, between the two men.

I don’t know how you maintain your attitude Foggy, you’re quite amazing.  We should go.  Don’t want to be late.

4.  A tight shot of Matt’s hand holding Foggy’s wrist with one hand, and handing him the cane with the other.

I do have one question though, Matt.


5.  A full body shot of both men, canes in hand walking down the street.  Foggy's free hand is placed on the inside of Matt's free arm.  Matt has a smile on his face.

My super powers will be kicking in any moment now, right?

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Foggy Nelson - Gut Feeling - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Foggy is going over some legal briefs at his desk, which is cluttered with paperwork and empty cola bottles. You can clearly see that it's dead night outside through a window in his apartment.


Inset Panel: Close on Foggy's face as he turns, surprised, to face his door.


Panel 2: Foggy stands in front of his open door. scared stiff. We don't see the person on the other side of the doorway.


Panel 3: Foggy is still in the same scared stiff position. The Kingpin's massive hand is patting him on the shoulder. We still don't see him through the doorway, but we can see that his white suit is scuffed and a little torn.


Panel 4: We finally see Kingpin through the door, and he is beat up. He's still standing tall, but his suit is not at its best. We can see Turk behind him and 2 other henchmen.


Kingpin: FOR LONG.

Why Foggy Nelson?

Because, like J.D. did for his first pick, I wanted to choose my favorite character in all of comics.

Then I found out Thoughtbaloons had already done a Daredevil week.

But seriously, Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, the Nelson in Nelson and Murdock, is usually the more down to earth side of a Daredevil story. Daredevil's fighting Nuke in the middle of Hell's Kitchen? Foggy and Gloriana are trying to survive the destruction. Daredevil's being broken by Typhoid Mary? Foggy's dealing with the moral dilemma of trying to defend a company who's polluting the environment.

So bone up on your legalese, it's Foggy Nelson week!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Batman - Begins Beyond - R.A. Wonsowski



Panel 1 - Across the top of the page, the Gotham City skyline, at dusk, the sky a burning blood red.  It should look like a cross between old Prague and "Blade Runner" L.A.  Wayne Tower is center and prominent.

CAPTION:  2019

Panel 2 - Close-up on the face of BRUCE WAYNE.  His face is pale, sunken and tired.  His hair is greying at the temples.  His expression is between sadness and anger.

CAPTION (Bruce):  It's all different now.

CAPTION (Bruce):  Alfred.  Jim.  Lucius.  Memorialized by stone markers in grassy plots.

Panel 3 - Same as Panel 2, but BRUCE is beginning to pull his black cowl over the top of his head.

CAPTION (Bruce):  Dick.  Jason.  Tim.  Won't speak to me anymore.

CAPTION (Bruce):  Barbara's walking her father's road.  Damian's walking his mother's.

Panel 4 - Same as above, except the cowl is now over his eyes, the signature white lenses glare a little.

CAPTION (Bruce):  Doesn't matter.

CAPTION (Bruce):  The past is done.

Panel 5 - The cowl is now fully over his face, revealing that this is the mask from the powered Batsuit from Batman Beyond.

CAPTION (Bruce):  The future is beyond.  Someone will follow my steps.  Someday...But...

CAPTION (Bruce):  Bunny Vreeland is out there.  Abducted.  Scared.

Panel 6 - BATMAN (Bruce in the full Batman Beyond costume) jumps off the Wayne Tower roof, arms spreading the red wings of the exosuit.

CAPTION (Bruce):  My war is now.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Batman: Sufferin' Sandman! - Niel Jacoby

In this page, Batman is fighting off both the aftereffects of Scarecrow's fear toxin and sleep deprivation. He's been pushing himself hard.

Panel 1: Batman, 5 o'clock shadow visible, staggers into the Commissioner's office, which is empty.


Inset panel: A piece of paper lies crumpled on the floor.

Batman: EH?

Panel 2: Batman sits in whatever chair is handy and reads the paper.




Panel 3: Batman is reading the paper, and is utterly convinced he's on to something.



Inset Panel: Batman is confused.



Panel 4: Batman, suspicious, holds 2 fingers to his right ear to activate the communicator.


Transmitter(Oracle): LET ME SEE IT.

Panel 5: Batman, his eyepieces glowing green, holds the mysterious note in front of him.


Panel 6: Oracle is exasperated.




Batman - What's in a Name? - J.D. Coughlan

SET-UP: Batman is fighting Bane (just to keep things topical) in an abondoned factory, and Bane is giving him the usual villain speech: "We're so alike, we're both driven by the same thing, we both impose our will over others," etc. Note that Bane is not on Venom here, so not as large or strong.

Panel 1: Batman, previously on the ropes, gets his second wind. Lying on the floor, he kicks Bane in the shins powerfully.

BATMAN: I am sick of justifying myself to murderers and madmen!



Panel 2: Batman flips over backwards, kicking Bane in the face on his way.

BATMAN: I have known tragedy...


Panel 3: Batman lands on his feet, cape still flowing as part of his arc. Bane rubs his face, enraged.

BATMAN: ...but I am not driven by it.

Panel 4: Bane lunges for Batman, but Batman deflects the punch with one hand while driving the heel of his other hand into Bane's jaw.

BATMAN: I am not pain. I am not vengeance. I am not my parents' deaths.


Panel 5: Batman sweeps his foot under Bane's feet, causing Bane to fall.

BATMAN: I am something which had no name until I gave it one...

Panel 6: Bane is on the ground now. Batman kicks him in the face hard.




Thursday, July 19, 2012

Batman – Death Becomes Him – Shaun Richens.

Set up: This tale takes place in the Nolan Batman universe.

Before this final page Batman has been engaged in a bloody all out brawl with the villain known as Bane. He barely leaves with his life. We pick up with his return to the newly rebuilt Wayne mansion.

PAGE 22.


1. ALFRED is standing in the grand and luxurious master bedroom of Wayne manor. A beautiful dark oak four-poster bed rests fresh and un-slept in. A full moon is bright in the sky its eerie light splashing into the room from the main window of the room.

         NO COPY

2. Making his way down the secret and secure back stair well to the batcave ALFRED wears a look he has worn a thousand times, a look of worry, a worry that his master and friend Bruce Wayne will not be returning home.

         NO COPY

3. A huge set of computer screens illuminate the dim batcave. A large seat sits in front of them its back to us. ALFRED stands patiently to one side, his back to us as well.

         You are home later than usually this evening Master Wayne.

4. A similar layout to panel 3. However now the seat has swiveled around. BRUCE WAYNE sits slumped in the chair. He is only wearing the bottom half of his Batman costume. His cape hangs over one side of the huge seat. His face is bruised and bloody as are his ribs, which he is slowly trying to wrap in bandages. Over one of his knees rests his bat cowl half ripped up and soaked in dried blood.

         BRUCE 1:
         I ran into a little bother.

         ALFRED 1:
         Well better later than never sir.

         ALFRED 2:
         You missed supper. Shall I warm you something up?

         BRUCE 2:
         I’m going back out Alfred. Gotham needs me.

         ALFRED 3:
         But sir? You are in no state to go back out gallivanting.

5. Same layout as 3. BRUCE has turned his chair so it’s back is to us again. ALFRED has turned to face us. His face hangs low, and for once he really shows his age, his fear for his friend hangs heavy on him.

        ALFRED (Quietly to himself):
You’re going to be the death of one of us Bruce. I just hope its not you.
6. A close up on ALFREDs face. A single tear rolls down his cheek.

         NO COPY.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Batman- Start -Dan Hill

Came up with a blank for this one (as is usually the case for the bigger characters) and as such this is very last minute.

The page takes a panel from Miller's Year One as a jumping off point. This is the panel where Batman makes his presence first known to the criminal element by diving down on three young hoodlum's on a fire escape who are in the midst of stealing some TV's in the middle of the night.

This panel (or a facsimile thereof) takes up the majority of the page.


I tried to also caption the page in a kind of free verse. Not sure if it works, but hey, experimentation!

Page One

Panel One

OPEN on a TIGHT SHOT on YOUTH 1. He wears a red sweater with jeans and white trainers. He's perched up on the railings of the fire escape, eyes wide with fear. 

CAPTION:  His father vanished and left a hole

CAPTION:  that drugs and crime could not fill.

Panel Two

The centrepiece of the page-- BATMAN swooping down towards the fire escape, head tucked in, cape hunched around him slightly as it trails behind him like a pair of wings. 

YOUTH 1 has his back to us and has leapt up onto the railings to escape the monster from above. 

Behind Batman YOUTH 2, dressed in grey sweatshirt and jeans, screams in horror. He's sank to his knees. 

To the left of Batman, falling backwards over the railings of the fire escape is YOUTH 3. He's dressed in white trainers, a black sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. 

The stolen TV's have all been dropped. 


Panel Three

CUT TO a TIGHT SHOT of Youth 2, still screaming. 

CAPTION:  Everything went his way until his knee went

CAPTION:  purpose lying broken on a football field.

Panel Four

CUT TO a TIGHT SHOT on Youth 3, his mouth open in shock as he falls over the railings to certain doom.

CAPTION:  Bad from day one,

CAPTION:  no fall from grace.

Panel Five

CUT TO a CLOSE UP on Batman, his face is a picture of concentration. 

CAPTION:  Guilt, rage and vengeance given form

CAPTION:  A shape in black,

CAPTION:  the void and the night. 

Panel Six

WIDE PANEL. A shot of the Gotham skyline-- night. 

CAPTION:  They all remember the first time.

CAPTION:  Of all the stories in the city that night, 

CAPTION:  this one took hold.

CAPTION:  A mark made. Things changed forever. 

Batman - Some Nights - Grant McLaughlin

The first three panels are all the same size, a third of the page in width and a little under two thirds in height.  The rest of the page is a single panel with a panel inset on the lefthand side.

The scene is Gotham City.  Night time.

1 - Almost a bird's eye shot (think GTA 1 or 2).  The Batmobile is driving through some tight alleys, coming to a dead-end.  The Batmobile would be near the bottom of the panel.

CAPTION (BATMAN): You never know what you'll find on the streets of Gotham at night.

2 - Switch to an angle closer to street level.  The Batmobile is just visible at the bottom of the panel.  The focus is on Batman (who is towards the middle of the panel), who stands next to the alley's wall.  He holds his grappling hook gun, firing it upwards.  He is facing away from the reader.

SFX: ka-BOW!

CAPTION (BATMAN): At any time you can find yourself face to face with cutthroats.  Murderers.  Psychopaths.  Or worse.

3 - On top of the rooftop.  Batman is walking towards the corner of the building (which is at the top of the panel).  He continues to face away from the reader.

CAPTION (BATMAN): It's never easy.  Every night is a challenge.

4 - Inset panel.  All it is is the lower half of Batman's face.  He is smiling.

CAPTION (BATMAN): But some nights...

5 - The docks.  An over the shoulder shot of Batman looking down on the docks from his perch on a nearby roof.  The focus is on a group of bad guys unloading some bad guy stuff from a docked ship.  The gang's leader is Killer Moth, who is standing around shouting orders as the other men unload.

KILLER MOTH: Let's get a move on!  We need to get outta here before the Batman shows up!

CAPTION (BATMAN): Well, some nights are less challenging than others.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Batman - Enough - Ben Rosnthal

1. A tight shot of your typical henchman, wide eyed in horror as he watches something before him. Shadows on his face tell us he is witnessing a devastating fight. He bleeds from the nose – it’s broken.

2. A shot of The Joker’s face, being punched by a black gloved fist. Batman is punching him, and we know that it is him; however we cannot see all of him.  Joker’s smile has been replaced with blood, as teeth fly out of his mouth as the punch connects.

3. A series of tight panels, each showing a part of the Joker being hit with brute force – this one shows a brutal blow to Joker’s abdomen.

4. This shows a knife edged strike to Joker’s throat.

5.  A shot of the henchman again.  He looks more scared than ever.

HENCHMAN (quietly, to himself)
He’s going to kill him.

6. A longer panel showing a side shot of Joker’s torso and head. He is unconscious. Batman’s fist is ploughing into Joker’s spine, breaking it.


7. A shot of Batman from the front.  He is releasing his grip on Joker’s hair, who is falling to the ground.  This is the first time we see Batman – he is cold un emotionless.

He’ll live. His victims won’t.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Batman – Batman: Of the Asylum – MK Stangeland Jr.

Page 1

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: Exterior shot of ARKHAM ASYLUM. The weather is dark and cloudy, giving the place the atmosphere that might normally be expected. However, the actual building itself, if one looks past the dark and gloomy atmosphere, should look much less depressing than one would normally expect of ARKHAM – rather, the building itself should almost come across the opposite of what one would expect of the ARKHAM that we are used to.

TEXT BOX 1: (JAMES GORDON) Dr. Gordon’s Personal Medical Journal – May 1st

Panel 2: Interior shot of DR. GORDON’s office – it’s the office of the head of ARKHAM ASYLUM, with focus on the rooms main desk. Sitting at the desk is JAMES GORDON, and he is writing in a journal.

TEXT BOX 1: (JAMES GORDON) I believe that I have fully adjusted to my position as head of Arkham Asylum since filling the position left vacant by Dr. Arkham himself.

TEXT BOX 2: (JAMES GORDON) In that time, there has come into our care one individual who particularly fascinates me.

Panel 3: Interior panel of a cell inside of ARKHAM ASYLUM. It’s a dark room, and looks like an approximation of that giant computer area from the BATCAVE, or at least as close as someone could get if they were a resident of an asylum. Sitting in the chair, wearing a crude mask and cape over his inmates outfit, is BRUCE WAYNE.

TEXT BOX 1: (JAMES GORDON) The patients name is Bruce Wayne. His backstory is an deeply sad one. He has multiple conditions; I could spend several pages listing and explaining them.

TEXT BOX 2: (JAMES GORDON) His uncle, a kind old man named Alfred Pennyworth, is paying for the best care money can buy. He visits as often as he can.

TEXT BOX 3: (JAMES GORDON) What I find most curious, however, is that when anyone other than Mr. Pennyworth addresses Mr. Wayne by his real name, he replies with only three words.

Panel 4: Panel 4 should take up the left portion of the bottom of the page, setting up and leaving room for panels 5 and 6 to follow right next to it. Focus should be on BRUCE WAYNE, upper body, as he sits in his chair.


Panel 5: Panel 5 takes up the bottom middle of the page, right between panels 4 and 6. Panel is closer to BRUCE WAYNE, focusing more on his face.


Panel 6: Panel 6 takes up the bottom right third of the page, finishing the three panel sequence started by panel 4. Panel has closed in on BRUCE WAYNE’s head.


(End Page)

Why Batman?

Because the final movie of the Dark Knight trilogy comes out this week.

Because he’s crazy prepared.

Because he’s the world’s greatest detective.

Because he’s the poster boy for stealth entrances and exits.


Because there’s no problem he can’t solve with enough prep-time.

Because he is the Night.

Because he fits all nine pieces of the alignment chart – by himself.

Because he can breath in space.

Because some days he just can’t get rid of a bomb.


Because he can make anything funny.

Because criminals are superstitious and cowardly lot.

Because he’s the Caped Crusader.

Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

Because he can take it.

Because he’s a silent guardian.

Because he’s a watchful protector.

Because he’s the Dark Knight.

Because he!



(And as a friendly reminder – Remember, Thought Balloons readers! YOU TOO can play along at home if you’d like to write a script for the Dark Knight this week! Just post your one-page script in the comments section of this post below! Have fun!)

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Dr. Dinosaur - The Plot From Paraguay - R.A. Wonsowski

Panel 1 - In the jungle of Paraguay, near the Brazilian border, ATOMIC ROBO stumbles upon a white Spanish-style two-story house with a terra-cotta tile roof.

CAPTION:  Somewhere in Paraguay...

Panel 2 - ATOMIC ROBO smashes in the door with his fist.


Panel 3 - From Behind AR, we see DR. DINOSAUR's laboratory.  It is filled with retro/WWII chemistry equipment, and in the corner is a model of the DNA helix made out of TinkerToys(TM).  The room is completely white, with the windows to the right open to the jungle outside.  To the left, DR. DINOSAUR is on a step ladder, with a small paint can in one hand-claw, and a paint brush tipped in red paint in the other.  He is wearing a white lab coat.  On the wall next to him is a chart of names written in German script with check boxes after the names.  It looks like almost a hundred names, and only the first 10 or so have been checked in red.  DR. DINOSAUR looks surprised.


DR. DINO:  Atomic Robo!

Panel 4 - ATOMIC ROBO's right hand has morphed into a particle cannon, but he's holding fire,, as he is considering the wall of names thoughtfully.  DR. DINOSAUR steps off his ladder, throwing the paint can and brush out the open window.

DR. DINO:  Yes!  I have crossed my pure Dino-rific DNA with that of the most sinister mammal ever to walk the face of the earth --


DR. DINO:  -- and created a perfect hybrid, implanted into the wombs of mammal women trapped in unhappy marriages, in the futile belief that a baby would fix their personal woes and psycho-emotional shortcomings!  And on their 7th birthdays, I will assassinate their deadbeat fathers, triggering an emotional response that will overload their immature brains, turning them into...

Panel 5 - DR. DINOSAUR cackles maniacally.  Behind him, we see ATOMIC ROBO with a look of disappointment upon him.


DR. DINO:  BWAH-ha-ha-hahahahaaaa!

Panel 6 - DR. DINOSAUR looks behind him, over his shoulder.  ATOMIC ROBO's head is hung in embarrassment.


Panel 7 - ATOMIC ROBO rests his hand upon DR. DINOSAUR's shoulder.  DR. DINOSAUR is emotionally crushed, head hung in shame.  ATOMIC ROBO looks sympathetic.

ATOMIC ROBO:  The Boys From Brazil was on Turner Classic this month, wasn't it?

DR. DINO:  (small lettering) I've been so uninspired...

ATOMIC ROBO:  Happens to the best of us...

DR. DINO:  (small lettering)  And the performance of the Peck mammal is just so...hypnotic...

ATOMIC ROBO:  Hey, if you're gonna steal, steal from the best...

Friday, July 13, 2012

Dr. Dinosaur: Jurassic Spark - Niel Jacoby

Page 1

Panel 1: Dr. Dinosaur is working on a mysterious project. We can't see all of it, but we can see metal scales and an eye that looks kind of like Atomic Robo's.

Dr. Dinosaur: YES, YES!


Panel 2: Dr. Dinosaur looks at his new creation with glee. We can't see it, but we can see a blue glow.


Panel 3: Zoom out on Dr. Dinosaur and Atomic Dino(a robot version of Dr. Dinosaur whose design is based on Atomic Robo). Dr. Dinosaur is gleeful, and Atomic Dino is confused.


Dr. Dinosaur: ATOMIC DINO!

Dr. Dinosaur - Killing Time - J.D. Coughlan

Nine panel grid.

Panel 1: Atomic Robo sat at a table. There is a checkerboard on the table. Robo is winning the game.

ROBO: We need to talk.

Panel 2: The reverse view, as if from Robo's POV. Dr. Dinosaur is sat across him. Dr. Dinosaur moves a checker.

DR. DINOSAUR: Talk is for the weak-minded!


Panel 3: From above, but at an angle. Robo is raising his hand to make a point while moving a checker to take Dinosaur's.

ROBO: Actually, it's usually considered--

ROBO: Never mind.

ROBO: Anyhoo, I was thinking: Where is this relationship going?


Panel 4: Side view. Dr. Dinosaur rolling his eyes.

DR. DINOSAUR: Oh cheese!

Panel 5: Side view from the opposite side. Robo is shrugging.

ROBO: No, seriously. When will this all end?

ROBO: Are you gonna destroy me? Am I gonna destroy you? Are we both gonna destroy the world?

Panel 6: Dinosaur's POV across the table again. Angled so that he's looking at the checkerboard. He has very few pieces left. Robo is almost frustrated, but reigning it in.

ROBO: What's your plan?

Panel 7: Robo's POV. Dr. Dinosaur is staring straight at him/us, completely blank-faced, like a confused dog. His head could even be tilted.


Panel 8: Robo's POV. Dr. Dinosaur, with the exact same blank expression, is shoving a checker up his nose.


Panel 9: Robo's POV. Dr. Dinosaur, his hands back on the table, checker up his nose, stares at Robo/us.

DR. DINOSAUR: Checkmate.

DR. DINOSAUR: Your move.


Thursday, July 12, 2012

Dr. Dinosaur – Future Fossils – Shaun Richens.

(Disclaimer: All I know of this character and the universe he inhabits is from what I have read online, so my tale may not make sense in continuity or maybe something that has already been covered in the books. However I hope it’s still a fun read.)

1. DR. DINOSAUR stands on the deck of fancy looking yacht. He has an AK 47 in one hand and a strange looking mechanical device in the other (It looks like this) The device has a crystal on top of it that blinks in an eerie purple colour. Standing across from DR. DINOSAUR is ATOMIC ROBO, he has is hands raised about his head as he tries to talk down the good Dr. down.

         Bermuda Triangle.

September 19, 2008

         Come on but your Ghostbusters prop down.

         DR. DINOSAUR
Shut your metal flap Atomic Hobo. Today is a special day for me. My crystals have bought me to the exact point at which I discover how I become a genius.

You’re implications that I am homeless cut deep Dr. that was unkind.

2. A close up off the device in DR. DINOSAUR’s claw? The crystal is at its brightest and the needle on the scale is shaking at its top end.

         DR. DINOSAUR
         A huge spike of mammal energy. This is it tin can.

3. A close up on DR. DINOSAUR’S face, a sly grin on his face.

         DR. DINOSAUR
         Time to find out what killed the dinosaurs.

4. A huge purple vortex explodes in between DR. DINOSAUR and ATOMIC ROBO knocking them both to the floor.


5. DR. DINOSAUR and ATOMIC ROBO still lie on the floor, the gun and device have fallen from the Drs claw. Smoke billows across the floor of the yacht as the vortex seals.

Standing in the wake of the vortex is a future version of DR. DINOSAUR. He looks like the present day version, however he wears an eye patch over one eye and has a robotic arm in place of his lost left limb. The robotic arm has what looks like an advanced version of the Telluric Interchanger built into it. FUTURE DINOSAUR has a strange look of pride on his face.

Good afternoon gentlemen. I take it you may both have some questions?

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Dr. Dinosaur- Cover -Dan Hill

Page Eight

Panel One:
Wide panel. We open on a shot of ATOMIC ROBO on the right hand side of the panel as he takes cover behind a desk. He’s dressed in combat trousers, boots and a green flak vest. Around him lies the wreckage of a once pristine open plan office-- desks, chairs, vending machines all torn to ribbons. Bits of the ceiling and floor are charred. Some shit is going down here.

In the background, on the left of the panel is another desk. We can see the tiny hand of DR. DINOSAUR throwing a GRENADE towards ROBO’s position. The grenade bounces towards ROBO.

Also in the background we can see ceiling high windows. We’re on the top floor of the ATLANTIC RECORDS BUILDING in downtown New York.

CAPTION:  Atlantic Records, 1999.

SFX:  Aka-lacka-lacka

ATOMIC ROBO:  You’ve got nowhere else to go!

Panel Two:
CUT TO a tight shot on DR. DINOSAUR taking cover behind the desk across the room from ROBO.

DR. DINOSAUR narrows his eyes-- plotting. Inexplicably he is wearing a red baseball cap (backwards naturally).  

SFX (OFF):  Boom!

DR DINOSAUR:  I am a hit record producer now. Mammalian pop music welcomes me!

ATOMIC ROBO (OFF):  Oh, just give up.

Panel Three:
ROBO peers over the smoking wreckage of the desk cautiously. Smoke rises from his slightly charred head.

ATOMIC ROBO:  You’re insane. You know that, right?

Panel Four:
DR. DINOSAUR does the same, peeking over the edge of his cover.

DR DINOSAUR:  It’s only a matter of time before the subliminal messages take hold.

DR DINOSAUR:  Soon, every meat puppet will...walk the dinosaur.

Panel Five:
Tight on ROBO, now standing up, pointing towards CAMERA.  

ATOMIC ROBO:  You didn’t?

 ATOMIC ROBO:  You...monster.

Panel Six:
Tight on DR. DINOSAUR now standing, claws at the ready. For lack of a better description he’s dressed like Fred Durst.  

He beams at Robo’s ‘compliment’.

DR DINOSAUR:  Your compliments will not disarm me.

Panel Seven:
Wide panel. DR. DINOSAUR and ROBO rush towards each other.

DR. DINOSAUR has begun to leap, claws at the ready. ROBO has his fist raised, ready to lay the smackdown.

DR DINOSAUR (SINGING):  It was a night like this forty million years ago...

ATOMIC ROBO:  Shut up!

CAPTION: Kid Rock's cover of 'Walk The Dinosaur' was never released. It is a highly sought after collectible, despite evidence that all copies were destroyed. 

CAPTION: There are rumours that crushed copies of the CD were buried in a landfill in Delaware.