Saturday, July 14, 2012
Dr. Dinosaur - The Plot From Paraguay - R.A. Wonsowski
Panel 1 - In the jungle of Paraguay, near the Brazilian border, ATOMIC ROBO stumbles upon a white Spanish-style two-story house with a terra-cotta tile roof.
CAPTION: Somewhere in Paraguay...
Panel 2 - ATOMIC ROBO smashes in the door with his fist.
Panel 3 - From Behind AR, we see DR. DINOSAUR's laboratory. It is filled with retro/WWII chemistry equipment, and in the corner is a model of the DNA helix made out of TinkerToys(TM). The room is completely white, with the windows to the right open to the jungle outside. To the left, DR. DINOSAUR is on a step ladder, with a small paint can in one hand-claw, and a paint brush tipped in red paint in the other. He is wearing a white lab coat. On the wall next to him is a chart of names written in German script with check boxes after the names. It looks like almost a hundred names, and only the first 10 or so have been checked in red. DR. DINOSAUR looks surprised.
DR. DINO: SQUAK!
DR. DINO: Atomic Robo!
Panel 4 - ATOMIC ROBO's right hand has morphed into a particle cannon, but he's holding fire,, as he is considering the wall of names thoughtfully. DR. DINOSAUR steps off his ladder, throwing the paint can and brush out the open window.
DR. DINO: Yes! I have crossed my pure Dino-rific DNA with that of the most sinister mammal ever to walk the face of the earth --
DR. DINO: QUINCY JONES!
DR. DINO: -- and created a perfect hybrid, implanted into the wombs of mammal women trapped in unhappy marriages, in the futile belief that a baby would fix their personal woes and psycho-emotional shortcomings! And on their 7th birthdays, I will assassinate their deadbeat fathers, triggering an emotional response that will overload their immature brains, turning them into...
Panel 5 - DR. DINOSAUR cackles maniacally. Behind him, we see ATOMIC ROBO with a look of disappointment upon him.
DR. DINO: FUNK-O-SOUL-O-SAURUSES!!!
DR. DINO: BWAH-ha-ha-hahahahaaaa!
Panel 6 - DR. DINOSAUR looks behind him, over his shoulder. ATOMIC ROBO's head is hung in embarrassment.
Panel 7 - ATOMIC ROBO rests his hand upon DR. DINOSAUR's shoulder. DR. DINOSAUR is emotionally crushed, head hung in shame. ATOMIC ROBO looks sympathetic.
ATOMIC ROBO: The Boys From Brazil was on Turner Classic this month, wasn't it?
DR. DINO: (small lettering) I've been so uninspired...
ATOMIC ROBO: Happens to the best of us...
DR. DINO: (small lettering) And the performance of the Peck mammal is just so...hypnotic...
ATOMIC ROBO: Hey, if you're gonna steal, steal from the best...