Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Etrigan- The Devil Made Me Do It -Dan Hill

Page One

Panel One
We open on a WIDE PANEL, an establishing shot of Paris circa 1940. The panel is dominated by the Arc De Triomphe in the centre of the page. Nazi banners and regalia are everywhere, fluttering in the afternoon breeze as people go about their business the best they can.

CAPTION:  Paris, 1940.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  There are monsters here--

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  --but I seek only one.

Panel Two
CUT TO another WIDE PANEL, an establishing shot of a basement somewhere underneath the streets of Paris.

The basement has stone walls and is lit by mounted paraffin lamps. Against the back wall sits a solitary coal stove. A MAN stands in front of it, his back to us. He’s wearing a shirt, an apron and cotton trousers.

Behind him, scattered casually are the bodies of three young men, partly covered by flickering shadows.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  Amidst the chaos he toils away.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  A metropolis lost to despots makes for easy prey.

Panel Three
CUT TO a  TIGHT SHOT on the man, now facing us. This is MARCEL PETIOT, a man in his mid to late forties with a shock of black hair, bushier in the middle than anywhere else, giving him an eccentric look.  

Marcel wipes his hands with a bloody rag.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  This man has let the devil on his shoulder have the final say--

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  -- a battle I fight myself with each passing day.

Panel Four
CUT TO a CLOSE UP on the stone floor of the basement. In the background we can see the bodies of the young men. In the foreground of the panel sits a small pile of their possessions-- identification papers, a few coins, curled photographs of loved ones and even a yellow patch in the shape of the Star of David sporting the text ‘JUDE’.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  He feeds on the weak and the lost.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  I have been tasked with retrieving him, no matter the cost.

Panel Five
CUT TO a shot facing Marcel. He’s standing in front of an open doorway, continuing to clean his hands. The doorway leads into a smaller coal cellar. It is cloaked in darkness. We can see nothing beyond the doorframe.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  There are monsters here, but I seek only one.

Panel Six
Fixed panel. Behind a clueless Marcel the hulking form of Etrigan steps out through the doorway and out of the darkness, eyes burning ruby red.

CAPTION (ETRIGAN):  Tremble and quake, o servant of Neron.


  1. Solid page, Dan. As always, your choice of setting and time period is an excellent compliment to the week's pick. The slow burn you have going on here works really well, and that last line is great.

  2. I really have to commend you on your sense of atmosphere, as well as pacing, that you put to this page. The evil is pervasive, particularly panel 4, and the fact that you approach it in an indirect manner really sets it apart. You definitely tapped into something here. Really impressive piece.

  3. I always like pieces on lesser-known historical figures, so this hooked me. Great build-up too.

  4. very well put together. i like the inclusion of marcel petiot, an excellent (and obscure) choice of historical figures for this piece.

  5. To all above: I highly recommend you read Death in the City of Light by D. King.

    Again, two thumbs way up, Mr. Hill.

  6. From the establishing shot of panel one you had sold me your page. You have a great way with words that each one is used for a reason and its this that makes all of your panels tight, well paced and so clear for your intensions. As always you blow me away Mr. Hill.


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