Really sorry this didn't get put up last week. Had some massive trouble with my internet. However I didn't want to miss J.D's first pick so heres my little contribution to the week.
PAGE ONE
4 panels. 1,2,3 Are a top row, 4 takes up the rest of the page.
1. BLACK PANEL.
NO
COPY
2. This whole
image is blurry as if someone is just opening their eyes and adjusting to the
light. We can make out a pair of woman’s legs in fishnets, she is wearing high
heels as well. The feet stand flat on the left hand edge of the panel and go up
to the right hand side. As if someone is looking at the legs whilst lying on
their side.
NO
COPY
3. Same as 2
but not blurry.
WOMAN (Speech
bubble coming from the top of her legs and written sideways to match)
Get him up.
4. We have
pulled back from the first person view of Jonah Hex and we now see him propped up
against the wall in a Saloon, his hands tied behind his back and his face
slightly bruised and bloody. The woman standing in front of him is dressed in this, she has a
huge grin on her and a shotgun cockily resting on her shoulder. A group of
rough outlaws with bandanas covering the lower half of their faces stand around
her like a pack of wolves waiting to get fed.
JONAH
Damn
double crossing….
WOMAN
Watch that tongue of yours Jonah, that’s what got
you into this mess.
Dames. Ain't nothing but trouble.
ReplyDeleteNice opener; much like some of P&G's run. Makes me wanna know more.
Better late than never. ;)
Thanks for the feedback buddy. Sorry again it was a late one. hope it was at least a little enjoyable to make up for the wait.
DeleteWell, I don't know if you meant it but that last line is just loaded with double entendre, ain't it?
ReplyDeleteFor that alone, kudos!
@Dan - Ha! Get your mind out of the gutter!
ReplyDeleteI like this a lot, Shaun. It's a nice opener that, as JD points out, hooks the reader quite quickly. I really liked the top three panels from Jonah's point of view. A really nice way to let the reader learn at the same speed as their protagonist (and a nice effect)!