Friday, July 6, 2012
The Lizard - One of Us - J.D. Coughlan
SET-UP: Dr. Connors has been kidnapped from prison. He is now in a dark room, tied to a chair, bag over his head.
A series of small, tight panels; two rows of three, with one large panel taking up the bottom third of the page.
Panel 1: Close on Connors. The bag is being removed (suggest it being pulled off quickly). His eyes are squinting, adjusting to the bright light shining in his face. There are men standing behind him.
SFX (BAG): WHUFF
Panel 2: Connors' POV. A man in a suit stands in front of him. The man cannot be seen very well as the light is shining from behind him.
MAN: Good afternoon, Doctor Connors. It has been a while.
Panel 3: Close on Connors again. Confrontational but a little afraid too.
CONNORS: What is this? Who are you people?
Panel 4: Connors' POV again. The man is leaning forward slightly. His face, slightly more visible, shows concern, but it is still largely hidden.
MAN: Oh my. You truly don't remember a thing, do you?
Panel 5: Same as before, the man standing up straight again, lost in shadow.
MAN: You see, Dr. Connors, your "accident" all those years ago did not transform you into a grotesque hybrid.
MAN: It merely reasserted your true nature...
Panel 6: Close on Connors; now completely horrified.
MAN (OP): It is rare we lose a member of the Order...
Panel 7: Large. We now see that the man is in fact a lizard-person! He is grinning vilely. Behind him we can now see several others like him, all grinning too.
MAN: And you've been lost a very long time.
MAN: Welcome back, brother.
END OF PAGE
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The Order: just great old-school conspiracy-creepy. Very cool creation, and one that I would definitely want to read more about.
ReplyDeleteThe other cool thing about it is that it would work, depending on the story you have in mind, as either the first page or the last page of an issue.
One page, and you've given us a lot to look forward to. Great set-up to what could be a fine mystery thriller.
Personally, I can't say I'm a fan of retconning Dr. Connor's origin or why he became the Lizard in the way you've done it. You do a good enough job with the atmosphere of the script itself, I'm just not keen to the foundation you've built that atmosphere on.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a big Spidey fan so I'm not as knowledgeable about his mythos; I just love the lizard-people conspiracy theory.
DeleteAlso, were I to expand this idea, I might go for a Geoff Johns style twist, where you think I'm retconning something only to go back to basics by the end. ;)
I love this ideas as a one pager, and the fact that you tie it into the paranoid Lizard People fantasy is priceless. Like MK though, I'd hate it if Marvel actually went down this line in "Real World" comics.
ReplyDeleteJ.D you have a wonderful way of taking the most bizarre and silly ideas and just making it work. I don't know anyone else who could pull this off. You not only make a great atmospheric and tense scene, that as stated could work as an opener or closer but you also made the reveal creepy and funny.
ReplyDeleteI would read this story as a stand alone what if? type book and love it.
I can't really comment on the whole retconning thing as I shunted Connors into the MAX universe with my entry this week.
ReplyDeleteI like the concept. Even as a retcon it works as Connors is still responsible for waking the monster he becomes. That tragedy and guilt are still there.
Plus, you know, Lizard people.
Lizard people are always a good decision. And in this instance, I would go so far as to say they're a great decision. No matter which way you took the story, whether they told true or it was later to be revealed fakeout, I'd be down for reading it.
ReplyDeleteA really effective page that gets a lot of information across in a short period of time. Nice stuff, J.D.!