Saturday, August 25, 2012

Mister Miracle - A Long Time Ago... - Ray Wonsowski

8 panel layout, 4 rows of 2, equal size.

Setting:  a truck stop diner.  In panels 1 to 7, we are focused on the same two booths.  In the left booth is a GUY with a dark beard, wearing a baseball cap and glasses, with a cup of coffee at his elbow.  He is writing in a notebook.  MISTER MIRACLE (in costume) is finishing his breakfast with his faithful friend and manager, OBERON, in the other booth.  The bearded guy should be back-to-back with MM.



Panel 1:  MR. MIRACLE is forking the last of his scrambled eggs into his mouth as OBERON lights his after-meal cigar.  The other guy is writing but looks frustrated.

CAPTION:  California, 1973.

OBERON:  So, tell me 'bout this other guy.  O'Ryan, is it?

MR. MIRACLE:  Orion.  He was born on Apokolips, where I grew up.

OBERON:  What's that place like, anyway?



Panel 2:  MM puts his fork on his plate, wiping his mouth with a napkin.  OBERON blows a smoke ring at the ceiling.  The other guy is eavesdropping.

MR. MIRACLE:  Well, imagine the moon, but completely covered by industry and technology gone mad.  And there's this pit that shoots fire and death.

OBERON:  Charming.

MR. MIRACLE:  Anyway, Orion's dad is the guy who runs the place.



Panel 3:  MM drapes his arm over the back of his seat as OBERON leans forward to listen.  The other guy is scratching furiously in his notebook as he's listening intently.

OBERON:  Darkseid.

MR. MIRACLE:  That's him.  Anyway, when I went there, his son was sent to my world where he was raised in relative peace.  But it didn't take.

OBERON:  Born for war.



Panel 4:  MM leans in.  OBERON ashes his cigar in his plate.  The other guy is writing as fast as he can.

MR. MIRACLE:  And someday, he's going to have to face off against his father.  Luckily, he's one with the Source.

OBERON:  The Source?

MR: MIRACLE:  Kind of like God.  It's a spiritual energy, I guess, that surrounds and binds everything together.



Panel 5:  OBERON's cigar is in his mouth as he opens his wallet.  MR. MIRACLE takes a last sip of coffee.  The other guy is leaned into his notebook, writing in intense concentration.

OBERON:  And Orion can tap it?

MR. MIRACLE:  He has to.  Darkseid's dangerous.  He's terror and anger personified.  He can kill you just by pointing and looking at you.  Thankfully, Orion had a wonderful old man for a teacher.

OBERON:  Yeah, well, so do you, kid.



Panel 6:  OBERON, cigar in his teeth, leaves some money on the table as he and MM get up to leave.  MM is smiling kindly.  The writer whips his head around (slightly panicked) to watch them go.  His pen is still scratching away.

MR. MIRACLE:  Ha!  Oberon, you could know me better than anyone.  Orion could probably learn a few tricks from you.

OBERON:  Bah!  Who'd traipse halfway across a galaxy to listen to a crotchety old dwarf like me?

MR. MIRACLE:  You'd be surprised...



Panel 7:  MR. MIRACLE and OBERON (puffing on his cigar) exit to the right, as a MAN in a suit and tie sits down at the writer's booth.  The writer looks up and smiles widely at him.  MM is rolling his eyes.

OBERON:  You know, maybe we should call that Flashman guy.  He could do something with that story of yours.

MR. MIRACLE:  Oh, please...

OBERON:  Think about it.  Movies, comic books, toys, LP records, your face on T-shirts and posters...

MAN IN SUIT:  George...



Panel 8:  Birds eye view of the writer's notebook on the diner table, facing the writer.  We only see the hands of the man in the suit across from him, folded.  The writer's pen is down, and his hands spread wide in excitement.  The notebook should be filled with notes such as:  The Source FORCE.  DARK SIDE.  STAR of DEATH.  SON v. FATHER = DESTINY!!  WAR in the STARS.  Son sent away, learn from Oberon Obiwan (kanomi? kanobi?) (or maybe a midget. Puppet?).  (include a rough sketch of the Death Star shooting its ray, and in small print "that's no moon")

CAPTION (Mr. Miracle):  Seriously, who would buy it?

Thank you, Jack Kirby - the ORIGINAL!

2 comments:

  1. nice, fun read. i like the pay off at the end, good job setting up the parallels between Fourth World and Star Wars.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're opening 7 panels read really well, you set everything up perfectly and have all three of your characters act realistically with subtle changes from panel to panel that seem very human.

    You build up to that really interesting last panel which visually would be engaging and pays off well with its content.

    ReplyDelete

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