(9 Panels)
Panel 1: Exterior panel of part of MR. MIRACLE &
BIG BARDA’s house in the suburbs during the night. A group of four black-masked thieves are
pumping something in to their house.
NARRATION BOX: That night…
BURGLAR #1: These fools will never know what hit them!
Panel 2: Interior panel of SCOTT FREE and BARDA FREE
in the basement of their house. Both are tied to chairs, and look like they
were dragged out of bed while sleeping. SCOTT is wearing a pair of MR. MIRACLE
boxer shorts, while BARDA is dressed in a tasteful looking night gown.
NARRATION BOX: With their house filled with knock out gas,
SCOTT FREE And BARDA FREE are tied up in the basement, leaving the burglars
free reign of their house!
Panel 3: Close up of SCOTT and BARDA tied to their
chairs. SCOTT is amused by the situation, while BARDA looks down with a face
that says ‘I don’t have to put up with this $#*^’.
SCOTT: Ha, these ropes are mere childs’ play!
Panel 4: Panel of just SCOTT in his chair, looking
like he’s taking his time untying himself.
SFX: (Coming from
off-panel as BARDA just flexes her muscles and breaks out of her chair, though
we don’t actually see this happening.) CRACK!
SCOTT: Why, I could be out of these yesterday if I wanted
to.
Panel 5: Panel of SCOTT continuing to untie himself
at a leisurely pace, largely unconcerned by the situation and unaware that his
wife is already upstairs dealing with the burglars.
SCOTT: Clearly, these fools did not do their research.
SFX: (Coming from
off-panel as BARDA walks upstairs.) Thud! Thud! Thud!
BURGLAR #2: (Coming
from off-panel as BARDA starts dealing with the burglars upstairs.) How did
you…
SFX: (Coming from
off-panel as BARDA starts dealing with the burglars upstairs.) WAK!
Panel 6: Panel of SCOTT in the chair, nearly untied,
and whistling as he takes his time and continues to be unaware as to what his
wife is up to.
SFX: (From SCOTT)
*Whistle music notes*
SFX: (From upstairs.)
SMACK! PUNCH! POW!
BURGLAR #3: Ow!
BURGLAR #4: UNCLE! UNCLE!
Panel 7: SCOTT stands up as he finishes untying
himself.
SCOTT: Alright, honey. Give me a moment to untie you and we
can go dish out some justice.
Panel 8: SCOTT looks to where BARDA’s chair used to
be. There’s now a pile of broken chair pieces and torn rope lying there instead.
Panel 9: SCOTT looks up the stairs from the basement
to where BARDA is poking her head around the corner to shout down to her
husband.
BARDA: Scott, if you’re done playing around down there,
could you come and give me a hand with these guys so we can drive them to the
police station?
(END PAGE)
I love "off-screen" comedy and you played it out perfectly.
ReplyDeleteNice comedic beats here and a great use of the Barda/Scott dynamic.
ReplyDeleteThere's something about Mister Miracle that lends to comedy very easily. You really do a nice job with the extended off-panel gags. Your Barda at the end is spot-on, too.
ReplyDeleteNot much more to add to the comments really. Everyone has summed up how well you nailed the off panel comedy, I also really liked your final piece of dialogue, it felt very light and fun.
ReplyDelete