Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Ozymandias -First Things First - Dan Hill

I really had a hard time with this one. I just couldn't find an 'in' with the character at all.

Panel One
We OPEN on a CLOSE UP of Ozymandias’ eye. Perfection has started to wane, wrinkles snake towards the eye, bloodshot streaks of red crackle across the eyeball.

CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS):  Alexander wept when told there were an infinite number of worlds.

Panel Two
ZOOM OUT to shot Ozymandias, now an old man sat in a high backed throne. He wears a simple white tunic and billowing trousers. There is no decoration, pomp or ceremony about him.

The room he is in has dramatically high ceilings and windows but is devoid of any other furniture or features. Behind the throne we can see a huge set of doors that lead out to a balcony.

CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS):  He wept for he had not yet conquered even one world.

CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS):  He was getting ahead of himself.

Panel Three
CUT TO a shot looking towards the set of balcony doors from the outside. They have been pushed open and Ozymandias walks out through them towards us.

CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS):  They say I am the smartest man on the planet.  They say I have the future on my side.

CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS):  They are right.

Panel Four
WIDE PANEL. CUT TO a shot looking over Ozymandias’ right shoulder gazing out at the view from the balcony.

We are very high up, Ozymandias is obviously in some kind of tower. As far as the eye can see there is nothing but the scattered remains and debris of a civilisation destroyed. Battered buildings jut from the dunes of a seemingly endless desert.

The landscape is dominated by two gigantic skyscrapers reaching towards the sky with nothing but their skeletal frames surviving.

Everything is gone.

CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS):  But I will not leave this future in their hands.

CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS):  I will save them from themselves, from despair.

CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS): I will save them from their frailties.

Panel Five
WIDE PANEL. CUT TO a shot of a young Ozymandias, somewhere in his early 20’s. He sits in a darkened bedroom, sitting bolt upright in his bed, sweat pouring off him.


CAPTION (OZYMANDIAS):  First, I shall conquer my own.


  1. I like it, Dan. A nice look at Ozymandias' inner-psyche and some of his potential driving forces. You tell a really solid story in this single page, leading up to that reveal at the end.

  2. The contrast from opening on the tight shot on the eye to the huge spectacle of the destroyed landscape adds a very grandiose feel to the page, and one very in keeping with the character.

    Grant is right this page shows you have a really good grasp on compression and can make the most out of even just one page.


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