Friday, August 10, 2012

Ozymandias - No More Worlds to Conquer - J.D. Coughlan


3x3 panel grid, of course.

Panel 1: Karnak, 2012. Adrian Veidt, now 74, sits in front of a single, large television. This should be a wide shot, Veidt being dwarfed by the TV and emphasising his solitude. The TV should dominate the wall, and the panel, and it is a very modern flat-screen type, replacing Veidt's many monitors of the past. Veidt faces the screen, back to us, which shows New York City.

TV: ...on the site of that horrific tragedy 27 years ago today.

Panel 2: Close on the TV screen. Several people gathered in mourning around a memorial (in the same location as the squid from Watchmen). I leave it to the artist to design the memorial, but it should be towering, monumental.

TV: The European Chancellor and Prime Minister of Asia join the American Alliance President in mourning, reminding us of the union we forged from that disaster, so that it may never happen again.

Panel 3: Close on Veidt. Despite his age, white hair and a few wrinkles, he is still recognisable and only looks in his late 50s/early 60s. There is no joy in his expression, only a weary melancholy.

VEIDT (CAP): I did it.

Panel 4: Flashback, tinted blood red. Same location as panel 2, but the squid attack. Bodies everywhere.

TV (TAILLESS): This is the largest amount of people gathered here since the original attack...

Panel 5: Medium shot of Veidt. Same expression as before. We now see an empty wine glass in his hand.

VEIDT (CAP): I did it twenty-seven years ago.

Panel 6: Flashback, blood red again. Closer on the bodies. They resemble Eddie Blake, Rorschach, Moloch, Roy Chess, Veidt's assistants, and any more of his direct victims I have forgotten.

TV (TAILLESS): And while it is impossible to forget those lost, we can take solace in the fact that our combined deterrents seem to have prevented further incursions.

Panel 7: Veidt again, pull out even more to show the bottom half of a large Veidt Industries "V" logo behind him. Veidt himself is still unmoving, unemotional.

VEIDT (CAP): All my dreams have come true.

Panel 8: Flashback, not red but there should still be something to indicate it is in the past. Veidt's POV of the last time he saw Dr. Manhattan.

DR. MANHATTAN: Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.

TV (TAILLESS): For the longest period in recorded history, the world has known peace.

Panel 9: The reverse angle of panel 1. Veidt is now dwarfed by the "V" logo. He is slumped over and the glass has fallen on the floor and shattered.

VEIDT (CAP): I am victorious.

END OF PAGE

4 comments:

  1. I like the buildup you have here, J.D., taking the opposite tack of MK on how Adrian's plan could have gone. The first handful of panels really grabbed me, but the rest of the script lacks some oomph. World peace doesn't really float my boat, I suppose.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This reads like the last page of a book and its a solid way to go out. It has a mournful tone to it as we watch Adrian's last few moments which makes you empathizes with a character who you could easily dislike.

    I love your use of the 3x3 grid layout. However I was sad you upgraded his T.V set up. haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. I actually like the last 2 panels. It's a much different end to his character than I imagined. Kinda reminds me of Michael Corleone's death in Godfather III.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I didn't envisage this as the kind of end for the character either but I like it.

    The best Adrian achieves (personally) is a hollow victory. He's still alone.

    ReplyDelete

Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
-OR-
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.