Sunday, August 5, 2012

Ozymandias – What Could He Do? - Shaun Richens.


1,2,3. Make up a top row of panels.
4. Is a big page wide panel.
5 and 6 make up a bottom row 5 taking up at least ¾ of the space.

1.We are in St. Peter’s Square in Vatican City. Pope John Paul II lies critically wounded in the back of an open top car after being shot four times.

Reference photo for location.

         NO COPY

2. We are outside of the Washington Hilton Hotel in Washington D.C, President Nixon and three others are shot and wounded (President Reagan is the real life target of this attack, however Nixon is the President during the Watchmen time line of history, and thus he is our poor victim.)

Reference photo for location.

         NO COPY.

3. We are at the opening of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington D.C. Dr. Manhattan stands wearing a fine black suit with the crowds of mourners. He holds his hands together across his lap, as he stands solemnly unable to truly connect.

Reference photo for location and look.

         NO COPY.

4. OZYMANDIAS sits in front of a huge wall of screens, each one tuned to a different news station from around the world. They all show horrific, saddening news. OZYMANDIAS has turned his back to them. He sits in his chair, his elbow resting on his leg as his hand massages his temples.

         NO COPY.

5. We pull in close on OZYMANDIAS he is still looking down.


6. A black panel, with white writing over the top. The panel reads.

Like a chicken with a fox,
He couldn’t win the war with ego.


Kate Bush.


  1. I like it, Shaun. A nice look at what the straw that broke the camel's back could have been for Ozymandias. I really like that final panel you have there. The Kate Bush quote is eminently appropriate.

    1. Glad you liked it mate. The Kate Bush quote was where the page started if I'm honest.

    2. As a big Kate Bush fan, I thought you picked the perfect quote (I'm laughing at myself for not thinking of it first)...

      I always liked Adrian's "beggar's cinema" that he watched in his fortress, and the news events that you pick are perfect. Layout's great too. Nice piece of work...

    3. You can't not enjoy the multi-screen tech Adrian uses, it is such a product of the time, but has a real nice visual look to it.

  2. You can really tell the song line came first, with the rest of the page fitting snugly around it and complimenting it.

    Nary a line of dialogue but it sells the central idea well.

    One of your best.

    1. Thanks Dan. I am glad the page played well with the song choice.


Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.