PAGE TWENTY-TWO
4 PANELS.
1,2,3 Form a
top row.
4. Takes up the
rest of the page.
1. We are
looking straight on at the face of young female pilot. She wears a blank look
on her face.
CAPTION:
War…
2. Same as 1.
The pilots face has an eerie blue glow about. Her face has dropped. She looks
devastated.
CAPTION:
What
is it…
3. Same as 2.
The blue glow has gotten even brighter and tears have started to fill the
pilots eyes.
CAPTION:
Good
for?
4. We are in
orbit above KLENDATHU. A host of CORVETTE TRANSPORT ships are on fire and
braking up. The ship closest to us has just been hit face on by a huge blue
plasma burst. It was fired from a PLAMSA BUG on the planets surface. The ship
catches fire and explosions are going off all around the bridge.
NO
COPY.
I really like the imagery you have going here, Shaun. It's a quiet script, but it packs a powerful punch.
ReplyDeleteA small thought on the caption: it might sound strange, but I feel like the punctuation makes the quote come off a bit choppier than necessary, but perhaps it wouldn't be as noticeable on an actual comic book page.
The last panel gives it the kick it needed.
ReplyDeleteLike Grant, I felt there was something 'off' about the way you've chosen to divide the lines up in the captions.
Cheers for the feedback guys. I originally had the full quote as one caption in the last panel, which I liked a lot. However I wanted to get the reader to focus on the face of the poor young pilot in her dying moments, I felt the broken down captions helped to slow the pace of those first three panels.
ReplyDelete