1,2,3 Form a top row.
4. Takes up the rest of the page.
1. We are looking straight on at the face of young female pilot. She wears a blank look on her face.
2. Same as 1. The pilots face has an eerie blue glow about. Her face has dropped. She looks devastated.
What is it…
3. Same as 2. The blue glow has gotten even brighter and tears have started to fill the pilots eyes.
4. We are in orbit above KLENDATHU. A host of CORVETTE TRANSPORT ships are on fire and braking up. The ship closest to us has just been hit face on by a huge blue plasma burst. It was fired from a PLAMSA BUG on the planets surface. The ship catches fire and explosions are going off all around the bridge.
I really like the imagery you have going here, Shaun. It's a quiet script, but it packs a powerful punch.ReplyDelete
A small thought on the caption: it might sound strange, but I feel like the punctuation makes the quote come off a bit choppier than necessary, but perhaps it wouldn't be as noticeable on an actual comic book page.
The last panel gives it the kick it needed.ReplyDelete
Like Grant, I felt there was something 'off' about the way you've chosen to divide the lines up in the captions.
Cheers for the feedback guys. I originally had the full quote as one caption in the last panel, which I liked a lot. However I wanted to get the reader to focus on the face of the poor young pilot in her dying moments, I felt the broken down captions helped to slow the pace of those first three panels.ReplyDelete