1. A
black panel. All we can see are the
following words balloons.
VOICE 1
Are you sure we’re safe in here?
VOICE 2
It’s a hell of a lot safer in here than out there,
McGee. Here—
2. The
panel has been illuminated by a flair held by Voice 2. This is Jentson. Both men are in Starship Troopers battle
armour. McGee looks scared.
JENTSON
Feel better now?
Going to have to be sparse with these flares. Only have a few.
3. The
light of the flare is dying out.
MCGEE
What was that?
JENTSON
Ddidn’t hear a thing.
Would you relax? We will just stay in here until the battle is over.
4. Black
panel again.
SFX: KRONSH
JENTSON
Now that I heard.
What is that?
5. Jentson
has fired up another flare. He is
looking at McGee whose face is in shock as a bug eats half of his head. Behind it are numerous other bugs. They are in a bug nest. McGee is dead. Jentson has no hope of escape.
The opening panel had me straight off. Great use of a black panel, followed up by the flicking light of panel 2 totally sells the scene to the reader.
ReplyDeleteThe interaction between McGee and Jentson felt very in keeping with this type of shock horror genre.
You play the reveal in pane 5 perfectly. The light of the flare would make the panel look even more eerie.
Lastly I love that this page would make both a great page one or a last page. The reveal makes for a pitch perfect page turn or a nice cliffhanger to bring the reader back.
Classic horror page. Part of me knew something scary was coming, yet I could not stop reading.
ReplyDeletePoor McGee and Jentson. Poor, poor McGee and Jentson...
ReplyDeleteSolid stuff, Ben. Really good use of pacing to throw that reveal up in the last panel. Also a really good use of the setting, as this is something I imagine would happen far more often than people would like to admit during those failed attacks.
ReplyDeleteYou build the tension here effectively ending with the horrific payoff.
ReplyDeleteThe lack of dialogue and captions in the last panel is also a good choice, giving over the page to the images and horror completely.