Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Alfred - A Fine Kettle of Fish - Grant McLaughlin


1 - The Wayne Manor kitchens.  Alfred has been hard at work on dinner.  The various dirty pots, pans, and dishes that litter the counters are evidence of this, as are Alfred's clothes, which are slightly disheveled from the heat of the kitchen and his own exertion (with a few stains of food on his sleeves and the like).  Before Alfred is the fruits of his labour: a delicious looking meal that has been beautifully plated (we'll say it's duck leg confit on a bed of potatoes next to a side of spring vegetables).  Alfred places a garnish on top to complete the meal, a look of satisfaction on his face.

ALFRED: That should do it.

2 - The Batcave.  A smile on his face, Alfred is walking towards Bruce Wayne, holding a covered tray high.  Bruce is hard at work on his own project, looking through a microscope at some piece of evidence on a desk cluttered with other items related to the case.  He is dressed in the Batman costume, the cowl off.  He does not look up at Alfred's arrival.

CAPTION (ALFRED): I'm certain that Master Bruce will thoroughly enjoy his meal.

BRUCE: Thank you, Alfred.  You can leave it on the table.

3 - Alfred has moved towards the table.  Looking towards the table (and away from the reader), he stands, continuing to hold the tray above his shoulders.  Another plate of food sits on the tabletop.  It is yesterday's dinner, untouched and cold.  Perhaps create additional emphasis on the plate by putting a panel around it or through another means.  No dialogue.

ALFRED: As you wish, s--

4 - Inset panel.  It sits towards the right side of the third panel.  This panel is a close-up of Alfred's face.  He wears a look of shock and surprise.  No dialogue.

5 - Back in the Wayne Manor kitchens.  Same background as panel 1.  Alfred now sits at the counter, a knife and fork in hand.  Wearing a sour expression, he eats the meal he prepared for Bruce.  No dialogue.

3 comments:

  1. Great set-up, and the final panel is both mildly amusing and a little sad too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like the script as a whole.

    All of the panel descriptions, dialogue and captions are solid.

    It also has a quiet, understated and dignified air about it, much like the man himself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The last panel sells me on the whole script. The scene you leave us as the reader on is one open to interpretation. As J.D said it is both amusing and sad, a refection on the twos sides to Alfred and Bruces relationship perhaps.
    You made Alfred feel very real, and in doing so made me feel with and for him. Great piece of writing.

    ReplyDelete

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