Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Rarebit Fiend - Next Week's Preview - R.A.Wonsowski

Panels 1 thru 5 should be done in the Japanese manga style; Panel 6 reverts to the usual for the artist.

Panel 1 - TRUTH-SAYING BASTARD SPIDEY (the anime version of intrepid journalist SPIDER JERUSALEM, like so:
   as you see here, and will now abreviate as TSBS) is winking at us through Warner Bros.-esque concentric circles, giving us the finger.

COPY (in neon script):  彼の真実はあなたの湿った脳を耕すを許可する - ここで真実言うスパイダーマンです!

CAPTION:  Allow his hard truth to penetrate your moist brain! - You can not resist him! - TRUTH-SAYING BASTARD SPIDEY!

Panel 2 - TSBS is sitting on a curb outside a voting center.  Anthropomorphic animals wait queued up outside to take their turn.  An armoured City cop is standing guard, his best truncheon in his hand, his riot shield has VOTE! written in red spray paint upon it.  TSBS is shooting heroin between his toes.

TSBS:  Kids!  Let the pretending that we can make a difference BEGIN!

Panel 3 - TSBS has a puppet that looks a lot like Ernie from Sesame Street in a pinstripe suit on his hand, his other hand holds two cigarettes, both lit.  He points at the puppet with the cigarettes.

OFF-PANEL, multiple speakers in unison:  Did! You! Know?!?

TSBS:  Like this homunculous of felt and foam, a politician can not speak without someone's hand up his ass!

COPY (in neon script):  あなたの政治委員会を知っている!

CAPTION:  Know your Super PAC Puppeteers!

Panel 4 - TSBS in a voting booth, curtain open, both cigarettes between his teeth as he smiles at us over his shoulder, pants around his ankles, is urinating on the voting machine.  He is twice as tall as anyone else in the panel.  Old ladies look on in horror and disgust, another City cop is coming in for the arrest, angry at the scene.

TSBS:  Let us say I am your government!  This voting machine is the people!  See how I quench your thirst for fairness and equality!

Panel 5 - TSBS is now out on the street.  He is now 20 feet tall.  His back is to us, and he is finishing stripping naked.  Fizz dots surround his head as the toe-heroin kicks in.  He is surrounded at his feet by buxom Japanese women dressed as schoolgirls, who all gaze up at him in either love, lust, or awe.

TSBS:  My civic duty increases the orgone energy!  My blood becomes soma, and women everywhere can taste my tangy musk!  Because DEMOCRACY!

Panel 6 - ("normal art") Through a open doorway, we see a naked SPIDER JERUSALEM, (gratefully, his back is still to us) standing in his open window on the balcony, fizz dots swimming around his head like in the previous panel.  He is pointing at his nether-regions, shouting down to the street.  Outside the doorway, we see his filthies, YELENA (on the left side of the door) and CHANNON (on the right).  YELENA is angrily gritting her teeth at CHANNON, who is responding to her defensively.

YELENA:  What the hell, Channon?  It was just Welsh rarebit, right?

CHANNON:  Yeah, but who knows what he keeps in that spice rack?

SPIDER:  GAZE UPON MY MAGNIFICENCE, PHILISTINES!


6 comments:

  1. You clever man. I wish I had thought of doing something like this before one of my weeks.

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  2. Haha, awesome stuff, Ray! Another excellent melding of comics that has the added benefit of metatextuality to reveal next week's pick. A thought balloons first?

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  3. Also: fun fact, Ray: Your script for Spider Jerusalem Week will be the 1000th article posted on Thoughtballoons.

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  4. It's 10.30am on a Saturday here, my first day off in a too-long week, and this is exactly what I needed. My brain was not prepared for the level of wackiness on this page, but it forced its way in and made a home.

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  5. Bizarre, off the wall with a dash of metatextuality. Neat wrap up to this weeks pick I think.

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