Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Mouse Guard- A Certain Point Of View -Dan Hill

The caveat this time around is that I've only ever read the first issue of the first series. It's something I've been meaning to read for a while now though.

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PAGE 22

22.1
Wide panel: We’re looking out over the area from treetop level. Spread out before us is a beautiful green landscape. We can see rolling green hills, lush fields and the tops of various forests as the sun rises on the horizon.

YOUNG MOUSE (CAPTION)
“It’s beautiful.”

OLDFUR (CAPTION)
“But it’s also a lie.”

22.2
CUT TO two MICE facing us as they stand on a thick branch, somewhere in the upper reaches of a  tree. On the left is a younger mouse with light brown fur. His eyes are full of life and zest.

The mouse on the right has dark brown fur with dashes of grey around his whiskers and mouth. He has patches on his body where fur doesn’t grow, where thin white scar tissue resides instead. We’ll simply call him OLDFUR.

Both of the mice sport dark capes and wooden swords. They're members of the guard.

YOUNG MOUSE
I don’t understand.

OLDFUR
I know, and that’s why I brought you up here.


22.3
CUT TO a TIGHT SHOT on OLDFUR.

OLDFUR
Up here we are giants, masters of all we survey.
(link)
But all we see is beauty, the landscape, the sun and the sky.



22.4
Small panel: CUT TO a CLOSE UP on a pair of snake’s eyes peering from the shadows beneath a pile of brown, gnarled leaves.

OLDFUR(CAPTION)
“We don’t see danger lurking in the shadows.”

22.5
CUT TO a TIGHT SHOT on a group of three BANDIT MICE standing around an upturned grain cart. Blood on the floor in the foreground of the panel hints at the slaughter.

OLDFUR(CAPTION)
“We don’t see greed waiting to stab us in the back.”


22.6
Small panel: CUT TO a CLOSE UP on a clump of WATER HEMLOCK (CICUTA) plants at the side of a small stream.

OLDFUR(CAPTION)
“We don’t see death disguised as hope.”

22.7
Wide panel: CUT TO a TWO SHOT on the two mice as they look towards us, looking out at the view.

OLDFUR
Down there we are always looking to the sky, humbled by nature towering over us.
(link)
Down there we are invisible to the gaze of any Gods. Down there we make our own fate.
(link)
You professed frustration at being small. Don't.


3 comments:

  1. Nice, Dan. I see what you mean about tackling a similar topic.

    Your dialogue and choice of imagery is spot on, and I really like the way you slowly develop where Oldfur is going with this. The repetition in the dialogue is also a nice touch.

    My only quibble is that I'm not sure about that final line of dialogue. I imagine it could work better in a longer story, but in this single page, it feels a bit too rushed in explaining why Oldfur is giving this talk. My two cents.

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  2. Haunting captions that add so much emotion to your character of Oldfur (great name by the way, really in keeping with the books.)

    This page really impressed, not just because of your limited knowledge of the series but for how you captured the raw themes that the books cover, the look at survival and how it changes people. Great stuff.

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  3. Very uplifting. Reminded me of all the inspirational things said about hobbits in Lord of the Rings.

    ReplyDelete

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