(6 Panels)
Panel 1: Scene is night in a parking lot. A
fancy-looking car is sitting by itself, the kind of car a well paid and/or
important individual might drive. Off on the far end of the parking lot is a CAR
THIEF walking towards the car who is trying his best to look inconspicuous.
Panel 2: The CAR THIEF looks over his shoulder and
whistles as he tries to pick the lock of the car seen in PANEL 1.
SFX: (Music note
should be seen coming out of the CAR THIEFs mouth as result of his whistling.)
Panel 3: The man is in the drivers seat, about to
turn the key in the ignition. He has a smug smile on his face.
CAR THIEF: For such a nice car, you didn’t put much into the
security.
SFX: Ver-rr…
PANEL 4: The car explodes spectacularly – the kind of
explosion you get as result of a car bomb intended to blow up and kill the
occupant upon the ignition starting.
SFX: kr-kc-BOOOOOOM!
PANEL 5: Panel of an office where the CAR OWNER is
sitting at a desk. He’s looking up with a shocked look on his face.
PANEL 6: CAR OWNER is looking out a window. He looks
even more shocked than before.
CAR OWNER: MY CAR!
CAR OWNER: Who the %#$& blew up my CAR?!
END PAGE
The concept really worked for me, the lives of others effecting people without them even knowing, I would love to see a one shot where its mini stories that all link to the next and cause a chain of events.
ReplyDeleteOne note I will make is the last line felt a bit off to me. I like that he is unaware that someone has taken the bullet for him, and he comes across as the kinda guy who wouldn't care anyway, my problem with the line is that he jumps straight to the conclusion someone has blown it up. Not that its an accident or anything.
Haha. Brilliant turn at the end there, MK. The last line is perhaps a bit too prescient, but it works for me because it`s so darn funny. Really excellent page you put up here.
ReplyDeleteGreat buildup with a funny payoff.
ReplyDeleteThe dialogue at the end could be tweaked slightly to make it hit home a bit more, but this still worked for me.