Page
One.
8
PANELS.
PANEL
LAYOUT.
111
234
567
– These panels can be really small.
888
1.Establishing
shot. We stand outside off a ranch. A big open archway is the centre of the
panel with the sign – Freedom Ranch – arched across the top. It’s a hot day and
the sun beats down. The ranch is a huge building in the distance with a simple
fence running around it, the fence offers little protection but the Ranch
itself looks deceptively well fortified. Stood with his back to us just outside
the archway is SPIDER JERUSALEM. Four figures can be seen walking towards him
from the Ranch.
CAPTION:
SPIDER:
This was the worst month of my life.
CAPTION: SPIDER:
Before I had the awful fortune to know the name Gary
Callahan that is.
2.
We pull in looking over SPIDER’s shoulder at the group of four people
approaching him. The three who trail behind are skinny guys dressed in jeans
and plaid shirts, they are all sweating and covered in dirty. The man at the
head of the group is HANDSOME HARRY, although he is far from it. Bald and over
weight, Harry is topless his belly hangs over his ripped jeans and his chest
hair is covered in sweat. His face is wrinkled and he has a huge moustache.
HANDSOME
HARRY:
Welcome
to my little slice of heaven Mr. Jerusalem.
CAPTION:
SPIDER:
I
hated the prick already and he hadn’t even tried
to kill me yet.
3.
Close up on SPIDER he is breathing deep on his cigarette, smoke filling the air
around him.
SPIDER:
My publisher was keen for me to see the place after
your unexpected invite.
SPIDER 2:
First journalist ever allowed inside the ranch. What
did I do to earn that honour?
4.
Cut back to HANDSOME HARRY and his group. Harry wears a huge smug smile on his
face.
HANDSOME
HARRY:
Oh come on up to the Ranch, Handsome Harry will
explain it all to you in good time.
CAPTION: SPIDER:
He referred to himself in third person; I should have
known he was an evil pompous cretin from that point on. I was younger and
dumber back then I guess.
5.
HANDSOME HARRY reaches out his hand to shake SPIDER’s.
NO
COPY.
6.
SPIDER and HANDSOME HARRY shake hands.
NO
COPY.
7.
HANDSOME HARRY rubs hand-sanitizing lotion into his hands.
NO
COPY.
8.
SPIDER walks under the archway with HANDSOME HARRY the three guys with him
before arte closing the gates of the ranch behind him.
CAPTION:
SPIDER:
The hand sanitizer, that should have set my fucking
nerves off. No man who apparently owns a ranch uses goddamn hand sanitizer. It
was a Politician’s move.
CAPTION: SPIDER:
I guess I should have thanked Harry for the shit he
was about to pull. He made me wise to guys like him and Gary Callahan.
CAPTION: SPIDER:
To late now I guess. Harry’s dead.
Oh, man. This is a punchy introduction to what sounds like an awesome story. You pace the page perfectly here, and that hand sanitizer bit at the end is the perfect way to really hook the reader in after all of your excellent buildup. I'm dying to know the details here. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteReally glad you liked the page.
DeleteThe thing I like about your work is that you always hint that you have a much bigger story at play in your head than you put on here. This is the third or fourth time I've sat back and wondered what you would do with a full issue. Cool stuff.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much mate, I am pleased to hear that my hints at larger narratives don't annoy people. I can't help but flesh out a story with some characters to the point where it is bigger than anything I could do in a page.
DeleteNice page with a good touch of characterisation at the end there.
ReplyDelete