Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Plutonian - Truth to Power - Grant McLaughlin

This would take place during / shortly after Plutonian's destruction of Sky City.  The Plutonian is walking amongst his devastation and he's run into a survivor, Robert.  On the previous page, Robert would have asked why the Plutonian just did all this total awfulness and the Plutonian would have given the "people are ungrateful / fickle" spiel.  The last panel on the previous page would have been silence.

1 - Robert is on his hands and knees, looking down.  He looks pretty bad.  He's bleeding from his head, arms, and legs.  His clothing is shreded all to heck.  That kind of thing.  Plutonian stands above him, looking down impassively.

ROBERT: Are you serious?

2 - Robert works his way up to just his knees, kneeling in front of the Plutonian.  Robert is indignant.  The Plutonian remains impassive.

ROBERT: You've just killed *cough* untold millions because everyone doesn't love you?

PLUTONIAN (quietly): Shut up.

3 - Robert is working his way up to standing at his full height, which is still pretty short compared to the Plutonian.  The Plutonian's expression is virtually the same, with a nearly impercetable sneer coming over his face.

ROBERT: That's not ingratitude, you dipshit, that's life!

PLUTONIAN: Shut up.

ROBERT: So why don't you *cough* why don't you grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for your actions?!

4 - Robert is at his full height now, in full rail against the Plutonian.  The Plutonian is visibly unhappy.

ROBERT: You were our paragon of goodness, but it turns out you're just some spoiled brat who can't deal --

PLUTONIAN (interrupting): Shut --

5 - Plutonian screams at Robert in rage.  The Plutonian is furious.  The force from his yell literally rips Robert apart, killing him pretty thoroughly.

PLUTONIAN: UP!!!

6 - Plutonian stands above the pretty nasty corpse that was Robert.  He looks as if he's breathing heavily from both the anger and the exertion.

NO COPY

7 - Shot that has Robert's corpse in the foreground.  Plutonian flies away.

NO COPY.

3 comments:

  1. The concept of one man having enough and finally taking a stand is a good one, and the fact that it was all doomed from the start made it seem like a great last stand. The way you had The Pultonian literally shout Robert down was a wonderful way to show his power and rage.

    Some of the Roberts lines didn't work perfectly for me, but overall fun one pager.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Irredeemable was always cathartic, but in a guilty way. This page neatly balances it, with Robert acting as the voice of reason Plutonian so obviously lacks.

    A minor criticism, but Panel 5 would make a much better full-page splash, and here the aftermath feels a little hollow.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Panel 5 is great, and like J.D suggests could maybe have worked better as a larger image (or the final one on the page).

    That said, there's a great sense of Plutonian's rage growing throughout the page that builds and builds.

    ReplyDelete

Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
-OR-
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.