As a bonus, here's the song I pretty much wrote this one to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9CakVPzWJI
Page 22
22.1
Wide panel: We OPEN looking down into an alleyway on a dark rainy night. In the middle of the alley is a CORPSE wearing a dark business suit, lying on its back.
TIGER LAWYER, wearing a light grey suit, crouches over the body. Trash and puddles pockmark the alley at random intervals.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
The night started off bad and didn’t have the good grace to try and be anything different.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
A frantic call from an old friend.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
A location on a map.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
And a corpse.
22.2
CLOSE UP on the corpse. This is LEHANE. He’s an old buddy of Tiger Lawyer’s. He’s in his late 30’s with close cropped brown hair and hawkish features.
Three bright red and deep gouges cut across Lehane’s face. A claw mark.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
I didn’t do this.
22.3
CLOSE UP on Tiger Lawyer. Rage starting to build, the rain dripping down from his fur.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
But someone wanted to make believe I did.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
Their mistake.
22.4
CUT TO a polaroid, a TIGHT SHOT of Tiger Lawyer and Lehane back in the day. They both sit atop the turret of a TANK, wearing military fatigues. They are bright, cheery and full of youth. They both make the peace sign towards CAMERA, laughing together.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
Me and Lehane went way back. In it together.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
10th Armoured Division.
22.5
CUT TO the alleyway. Tiger Lawyer is now standing up over the body, straightening his suit, composing himself.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
I’m all that’s left. An endangered species.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
Whoever did this is going to learn all about the 10th. See, we had a motto...
22.6
ZOOM IN on Tiger Lawyer, snarling with rage.
TIGER LAWYER (CAPTION)
Terrify and destroy.
There is a lot to like about this script, particularly the military angle. Panels 5 and 6 really sell the whole piece, and I would definitely be in to see where this goes. Fantastic script this week, Mr. Hill...
ReplyDeleteThat song plays so well with the page had it slowly building as I read your script, thats a nice touch and look into your process. Although you've set a dangerous precedence now, 'cus I wanna know everyones writing playlists now.
ReplyDeleteYour build up from panels 4 to 6 is so well handled, the background you give Tiger Lawyer works very neat with all we know of the character and the image on him on the tank brings to mind so many historic photos I have seen, its adds weight and punch to the emotional beat of the panel.
Over all I loved the page. As a reader however I'd over to have opened with Lehane's body facedown, then had Tiger Lawyer turn him over in panel 2 for the reveal of the face scratches, its gives you another beat reveal to an already great page, plus having TL actually interacting with the body, for me at least adds even more emotion to the revelation of them being such good buddies.
Just my thoughts man.
Wicked page, Dan. As always, you've killed your entry this week. My main comment is that I'd almost rather see this as page 1 instead of page 22. I don't know what you'd plan on having before this moment, but it feels like a great way to open a story - it sinks claws deep into the reader and does not let go.
ReplyDelete