NEXTWAVE has a baby
with Thunderbolts and Suicide Squad as Director AMANDA “GREENWALL” OSBORN
(Amanda Waller/Norman Osborn) of the Black
Ops Liberty Team deploys supposedly
unstable misfits on what are supposed
to be missions of certain death and then gets upset when they continue to
succeed without anyone dying. Making
up the team of misfits who are far more alive than they should be are:
CAPTAIN POWERBIRD/Luke McCabe
(Luke Cage/Songbird/Vixen/Monica Rambeau): Inadvertent leader who didn’t know
what he was signing up for, responsible for the near impossible task of keeping
everyone in line and capable of generating sonic animal constructs around
himself and accessing powers relevant to those animals by doing so.
X-SHOT/Floyd Stack
(Deadshot/Aaron Stack): A trigger-happy killer cyborg with targeting systems
more advanced than the most advanced targeting systems known to man and more
weapons built into his body than you can shake a cattle prod at.
COUNTESS BLOODMOON/Karla
Bloodmoon (Count Vertigo/Elsa Bloodstone/Karla Sofen): The manipulative,
self-centered member of royalty from a minor European kingdom who possesses her
nations prized Bloodmoon Gem, granting her mysterious mystical powers.
CAPTAIN SHARK (King
Shark/The Captain): The super-strong, super hungry team muscle who’s temperamental,
short-sighted, and kind of stupid.
Q-BOOM!/Dr. Tabitha Harleen Jenkins (Tabitha Smith/Harley Quinn/Abner Jenkins): An
intelligent but easily distracted young woman who enjoys using her degree in
engineering and her powered battle suit to make stuff blow up good.
AND
PHANTOM/Mr. Gordon
(Barbara Gordon/Ghost): Technically the guy giving the team their mission
information, but serves as their ‘guardian angel’ by manipulating events to
ensure they survive – but whether it’s out of the goodness of his heart or to
serve his own secret agenda is yet to be seen.
(8 Panels)
Panel 1: CAPTAIN POWERBIRD, X-SHOT, CAPTAIN SHARK,
and Q-BOOM! are standing around a radio communications device that’s sitting on
a table. COUNTESS BLOODMOON is off nearby being COUNTESS BLOODMOON.
AMANDA OSBORN: (Through
the communicator device) How do they all keep surviving?! What is the point of a suicide mission if nobody dies!?
AMANDA OSBORN (2): (Through
the communicator device) Wait…is this thing on? PHANTOM! I thought I said…
Panel 2: Everyone reacts as CAPTAIN SHARK slams his
face down on top of the communicator device in a way that would put it directly
into his mouth. CAPTAIN POWERBIRD has a look of shock, X-SHOT drops his head
into his hand in a ‘I’m surrounded by idiots sort of way’, while Q-BOOM! looks
excited by the random act of destruction.
SFX: (Following the
trail CAPTAIN SHARK’s head traveled to get to the communication device.)
RAAAAAHHHHW!
SFX: (From CAPTAIN
SHARK’s face impacting the table) WAM
CAPTAIN SHARK: eet et afh!
Panel 3: CAPTAIN SHARK is standing up again and
trying to chew on the communication device as it hangs half-way out of his
mouth. CAPTAIN POWERBIRD has his hands out in front of him as he shouts at
CAPTAIN SHARK.
SFX: (From CAPTAIN
SHARK chewing on the device) krnk krk krnk
CAPTAIN SHARK: ohm nom nom nom nom!
CAPTAIN POWERBIRD: SHARK!
CAPTAIN POWERBIRD (2): We needed that!
CAPTAIN POWERBIRD (3): Osborn’s a jerk, yeah, but still!
Panel 4: Beat Panel. CAPTAIN SHARK stands with the
device sticking halfway out of his mouth. His eyes are tilted to look at an
angry CAPTAIN POWERBIRD.
Panel 5: CAPTAIN SHARK spits the device back out onto
the table. CAPTAIN POWERBIRD reacts with a touch of disgust.
SFX: (From CAPTAIN
SHARK spitting the device back out) Blegh!
CAPTAIN SHARK: Sorry
CAPTAIN POWERBIRD: ugh
Panel 6: Q-BOOM! takes a close look at the chewed on
device. CAPTAIN POWERBIRD looks at her skeptically.
Q-BOOM!: It doesn’t look that bad. I should be able to fix
it easy!
CAPTAIN POWERBIRD: Fix it fix it? Or make a bomb out of it
fix it?
Panel 7: Beat Panel. Everyone looks at CAPTAIN POWERBIRD.
Panel 8: CAPTAIN POWERBIRD lowers his head into his
hand in frustration.
CAPTAIN POWERBIRD: That was a stupid question, wasn’t it?
CAPTAIN POWERBIRD (2): Silly me.
(END PAGE)
I want a Captain Shark mini-series, STAT!
ReplyDeleteFunny comedy one-pager that made me laugh. At first glance, it seems a little "busy" but I think it could be drawn out smoothly. Also, I normally don't like more than two characters amalgammated, but you make it work as part of the comedy.
ReplyDeleteAs always, you've nailed the off the wall wacky script. I also thought that your character amalgamations seemed a little overfull at first blush, but the payoff on this page is well worth it. Hilarious take on the Suicide Squad concept infused with NEXTWAVE humour.
ReplyDeleteWacky and wonderful, nice blend of the Suicide Squad set up with that oh so very Nextwave humour as Grant said.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if this was intended but I loved how the team had two captains, for me at least it added to the idea of this kind of team always fighting over who is really in charge.
Captain Shark. Make it happen someone.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff.