Sunday, January 27, 2013

Electro - Redemption Road: Run - R.A. Wonsowski

(A continuation of my saga of Max "Electro" Dillon, super-villain skip-tracer.)

Previously:  MAX gets out of prison to find that he has a baby girl.  After falling back on desperate measures with a heist gone bad, Hawkeye convinces him to go straight.  Thanks to the advice of the Taskmaster (, MAX has built himself a decent niche business bountying metahuman criminals who flee the justice system.  However, after "turning in" the alien warrior-woman Stellaris, he returns home to see her old partner in the cosmic Graces, the space pirate NEBULA, abducting MAX's baby daughter, TESS.  Her ultimatum: free Stellaris or the baby dies.  MAX, still impulsive as ever, instead chooses to pursue NEBULA, which leads to a frantic chase across New York City, to where her ship lies waiting in Battery Park.  MAX makes one last attempt to rescue his little girl...


Panel 1 - P.O.V. inside NEBULA's ship.  She stands foreground, back to us, looking out the closing hatch, as TESS screams as she's held in the crook of her arm.  Through the hatch, we see MAX breaking through the treeline, his fists and eyes crackling with electricity, accentuating his facial scars.  His head shaved, he wears a green bowling shirt with wide yellow lightning-shaped stripes down the front, jeans, and Doc Martens.



CAPTION (MAX):  No, no, no.

Panel 2 - P.O.V. from behind MAX.  He's throwing a tremendous amount of lightning at the ship as it lifts off from the ground.  But the ship shrugs it off, and from the look on MAX's face, it might even be feeding back on him.

CAPTION (MAX):  I hate myself sick.  I shoulda called somebody.  Anybody.

CAPTION (MAX):  I have Hawkeye's pager, for Chrissakes.  I coulda brought the #u$&in' Avengers down on her head.

Panel 3 - Suddenly, a bright light is shined right in MAX's face.  The whole panel is bathed in bright light as MAX shields his sparking eyes.

CAPTION (MAX):  Tess is gonna die or worse because I'm either too stupid or stubborn to ask for help.

Panel 4 - (inset)  MAX, still shielding his eyes, looking shocked.

(off-panel):  So...

Panel 5 - Foreground, we see MAX, his back to us, crouching down and his fists are sparking with electrity again, but holding back.  He is looking at the towering figure of DEATH'S HEAD ('s_Head), hanging from the hatch of his hovering snubfighter, one hand on the flight controls, the other extended as if in friendship.

DEATH'S HEAD: "freelance peacekeeper" to another...

DEATH'S HEAD: could use some assistance, yes?

CAPTION (MAX):  Well, this is different...


  1. I loved this so much.

    You open with a brief piece of backstory, all of which I would love to read as you have crafted such a cool concept for Electro.

    Then we dive into the last moments of a big action chase full of under used and interesting characters. Then you hit us with an unexpected yet great cliffhanger that just makes me want more.

    Lastly I totally dig Max's captions, just that tiny peak into his inner thoughts makes for some compelling reading.

  2. I liked this. It was a cool sampling of what seems to be a much larger tapestry.

    Bonus points for using Deaths Head and Nebula (who I totally just used in an upcoming script. There must be something in the water).

  3. Man, I love your Electro pages. Such excellent looks at the character. Confession: I dug your earlier Redemption Road pages so much that I actually forgot that Tess wasn't in continuity. Was quite surprised when I couldn't find her anywhere in my research for my own page. Oops!

    1. Wow, Thank you! (You wouldn't believe the notebook of notes I have for the thing "just in case") Glad that you like it. I sure love writing it!


Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.