[I think that title’s taken.]
[Well he’s dead now, so who cares?]
[Isn’t that spoiler material?]
[☠☠☠☠ if I know.]
Do not adjust your web-browser [heh-heh, web], because everything is under control. MY control. I “suggested” Michael take a breather on the ‘Why?’ this week while I hijack his account to tell you why you’re all going to be spending the next week writing about me! [And me.] [But that goes without saying!] Because who could possibly tell you why writing about me for a week is the best thing to ever happen to this site other than yours truly?
See, you may not be aware of this, but I’m awesome. Like the most awesome thing to happen to comics since…EVER! [What about comics being invented?] [*Pfft* - I’m the reason comics were invented!] Why, it wasn’t too long ago that I had about a million books a month coming out. But then they realized that too much Deadpool at once might be hazardous to people’s health since people can only stand so much concentrated awesome at a time. Why, they should probably have put warning labels on those books!
Yeah, I’m so awesome, I pretty much take over anything I show up in. [Include this crummy site?] [ESPECIALLY this crummy site!] Comics? I’m a breakout hit character! That Hulk vs. Wolverine animated movie? Best part of the whole ☠☠☠☠ movie! Video games? Did you not see my appearance in the Marvel Ultimate Alliance titles and how great I was in those? Or have you not yet heard about my own upcoming video game? Starring me?
Though…less said about my appearance in Wolverines movie the better. Even if Ryan Reynolds less than perfect attempt to portray me was probably the best thing to happen to that stinker. [So why even bring it up?] [Because if I didn’t, someone else would.]
Which brings us to Thought Balloons. Now, you people might be small potatoes in the grand scheme of things [Like that last little French fry that sits at the bottom of the fry container thingy] [I think it’s called a frypod], but what self-respecting publicity hog would I be if I didn’t pay a visit to a writing site that dedicates a full week to a new character every week? [Might as well turn in my Overexposed card if I didn’t.] Which is the reason that I’ve been sneaking my way into your scripts as of late, hoping you people might GET THE ☠☠☠☠ HINT!
But you didn’t. Which is why I’ve decided to take more direct action by hijacking your site for the week and giving you no choice but to write a bunch of scripts all about me! So get cracking people, I’ll be waiting to see what you can churn out.