Friday, February 1, 2013

Electro - The Spark - J.D. Coughlan


SET-UP: Max Dillon has just escaped from prison again. To make a bit of cash, he has decided to rob a diner.

 Panel 1: All of the diner patrons crouched on the floor. Dillon stands over them, in his Electro suit, his hand outstretched to them and sparking. He addresses the manager behind the counter, who gets money from the till. A female customer, Jenny, looks up at him with recognition.

DILLON: C'mon! C'mon!

JENNY: Max?

Panel 2: Dillon looks down at her, surprised. Jenny smiles nervously

DILLON: Jenny?!

JENNY: I mean, I know you were Electro, obviously, I just didn't expect--

Panel 3: Dillon now looms more menacingly over Jenny, both his hands sparking violently. Jenny winces and the rest of the crowd are terrified.

DILLON: To see me again!? After you stabbed me in the back and ditched me!?

JENNY: M-Max, I'm sorry. It... It was just a job.

Panel 4: Over Jenny's head. Dillon looming over her, angry and sparking. Jenny shields her face with her arms.

DILLON: I loved you, Jenny! And you used that against me!

DILLON: So give me one good goddamn reason why I shouldn't fry you right here, right now!

Panel 5: Close on Jenny, cowering in fear.

JENNY: Be-because you still love me.

Panel 6: Dillon standing upright again, no electrical energy coming off him. His face says it all: She's right and he hates that it's true.

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5 comments:

  1. Grant McLaughlinFebruary 1, 2013 at 5:13 AM

    Oh, wow. You built this up quick and you built it up fast, and it works oh so well. I was getting some Pulp Fiction vibes from the setup panel, but then you made it so much more powerful than that. This page is densely packed with information and emotion, and I'm all upons it. That last panel in particular is a big winner.

    ReplyDelete
  2. American Zombie (R. A. Wonsowski)February 1, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    That right there is exactly the kind of backstory I imagine for "Redemption Road". How Max would love someone, how terrible it could be. Except you nail it better than I did in my notes. Gul-durned awesome, Mr. Coughlan.

    Can I steal it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J.D. CoughlanFebruary 1, 2013 at 8:42 PM

      Certainly. So long as you have your artist give me a cameo. ;)

      Delete
  3. Shaun RichensFebruary 6, 2013 at 2:16 AM

    Totally with Grant on the pulp fiction vibe from this set up but then you take the story in this whole new emotionally charged (sorry) direction which is powerful and feels so true.

    I love everything about this page, it just oozes with pure craft brilliance.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dan HillFebruary 6, 2013 at 5:54 AM

    The last panel sells this completely. Great page with a nice emotional kick at the end.

    ReplyDelete

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