Thursday, March 28, 2013

Kingpin – All Business- Shaun Richens.

Note this is a MAX book idea so expect some strong language.


1. INT Large modern conference room. A long wooden table runs the length of the room. Gruff, mean looking men line the seats up and down the table. They are all wearing designer, tailored suits. These men are the bosses and leaders of New York’s biggest crime gangs and families.

The New York skyline can be seen through the large windows that the run around the walls of the room.

MOB BOSS: So Fisk, get to the point. What the fuck are we all going here? Other than sitting around with our thumbs up our asses?

2. Close on WILSON FISK the KINGPIN. He is looking towards us, a slight grin on his face.

We can see the long table and the impatient gang bosses behind him.

KINGPIN: I told you all I had a plan to finally remove Daredevil from our business model.

3. Pull in closer on Kingpin.

KINGPIN: I lied.

4. The Kingpin has turned around slamming his fists onto the table.

KINGPIN: This is a hostile takeover.


  1. I like the idea - especially that panel 3 - but I feel like panel 4 takes some of the oomph out of it by not going with a more violent or eye-catching action.

  2. I have to agree with Grant. It builds nicely, even an extra panel after 4 would have added a nice kick. Something striking (visually or verbally) would have helped sell it a little bit better.

    That said, I got a Goldfinger-esque vibe from this (when he assembles the mobsters to employ their help in knocking over Fort Knox).

  3. Nice set up. Feels like step one of a much larger plan that Kingpin is putting into action.

    I agree with the other two commenters that the last panel could do with a little extra something. Perhaps Kingpin's goons storming the office and holding the other crimelords at gunpoint? or killing them outright?


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