Monday, March 25, 2013

Kingpin - Redundancy - Ben Rosenthal



1.  This panel takes up the length of the page.  Wilson Fisk’s heavy desk sits in the middle of the page, with the Kingpin sitting behind it.  On the other side of the desk stands one of The Kingpin’s guards.  Further back are two other guards.  The guard standing in front of the two is looking nervous.  He is facing Kingpin after failing in one of his tasks.

KINGPIN
After I have finished this sentence you will pull out your gun and fire it at me.


2.  A close up of the guard.  He is scared but accepting of what is to come.

KINGPIN (off panel)
Do not hesitate or refuse or your family will suffer.  Do you understand?

GUARD
Yes sir.


3.  A close up of Kingpin.

KINGPIN
Good.  Continue.


4.  The wide panel shown from the side again.  The guard is firing as Fisk stands, flipping the desk up.

5.  A close up of the guard as the desk rills on top of him.

6.  Hands are around the guards head, twisting it so his neck breaks.

SFX: SNAP


7.  Fisk is standing above the dead guard.  The two guards by his side.

KINGPIN
Call the police.


8 comments:

  1. I really, really like this page. Shows how badass and terrifying Kingpin is. However, I'm confused by that final line. Why does he want the police involved? Is he just being funny? Or is it another challenge for himself?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Now that's a brutal page. Really highlights the machinations of Mr. Fisk and how badass he can be. Like the build and pacing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Like Grant, I dig the brutality and suddenness of the page here BUT, like JD, I'm confused by that last panel too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The page is super brutal and intense perfect for the character.

    I took the least panel to be that Kingpin was going to clam self defence against the guard who he had forced to fire him and have the police clean up his mess for him? is that the intension Ben?

    ReplyDelete
  5. You got it Shaun.

    I figured this is how Kingpin stays off an arrest warrant. Whenever he needs to dispose of something he organises it, and cooperates fully within the lines of the law.

    I did have trouble getting that last line, however.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great page. I understood where you were going with the last panel.

    One thing I would change is the line:

    After I have finished this sentence...

    As he speaks a few more sentences before making the man act, and Kingpin strikes me as someone who chooses his words very methodically.

    That's just nitpicking though - great work!

    ReplyDelete

Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
-OR-
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.