Friday, March 22, 2013

Peanuts - So It Begins... - J.D. Coughlan


Panel 1: Mid-shot of Lucy, kneeling and holding the football, waiting for Charlie (off-panel) to kick it. A little angel of herself is on her right shoulder. Lucy is smiling.

ANGEL: What a great idea! A friendly little game of football. I bet Charlie kicks it so far; that'd be super!

Panel 2: Closer on Lucy, just her head and shoulders. A tiny devil version of her has appeared on her left shoulder in a puff of smoke. Lucy looks at the devil, blank-faced.

DEVIL: Of course, it would be a shame if someone... spoiled that for him. Maybe by moving the football at the last second?

SFX: poof

Panel 3: The angel waves her arms in panic. Lucy looks at the angel now, unsure.

ANGEL: No! That would be terrible! Charlie would slip and fall!

Panel 4: The devil shrugs, Lucy looking at her.

DEVIL: Exactly. Hilarious.

Panel 5: Lucy and the devil look back to the angel, who is deep in thought.

NO TEXT

Panel 6: The angel shrugs. Lucy and the devil have wicked expressions.

ANGEL: I got nothing. Go for it.

END OF PAGE

6 comments:

  1. Fun melding of two well known set ups, the football scene from Peanuts and the angel and devil gig. I think the thought that this plays though her head every time.

    I think you make a fun choice in that last panel by having the angel kind of just go with it, it has a mischievous quality to it that works perfectly.

    However the page felt a little long to be honest. I think it could have been fitted into a 4 panel peanuts page and worked at a nicer pace. Just my thoughts though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On the other hand, it makes for a good Sunday strip. Nice piece.

      Delete
  2. As Shaun says, you do a fine job of mixing both the football gag and the angel/devil gag. I definitely enjoyed the pause in panel 5, but I'm a huge sucker for that kind of thing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. In response to both Grant and Shaun, I think it could go either way.

    On the one hand, it works as it as a straight up script. On the other hand, if one theoretically wanted to bring it more in line with a 3/4 panel Peanuts script (or to simply save space), it doesn't look like it would be that hard to combine some of the panels to make it shorter.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I liked this one. You got the tone of the strip down pat, I think.

    The last panel was great.

    ReplyDelete

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