PAGE ONE – 5 PANELS.
Layout
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1. A modern bullet train speeds through a
beautiful green and lush country landscape.
It is raining heavily.
NO COPY.
2.
A young girl sits onboard the train
looking out of the rain-covered window. Her mother sits next to her reading a
book.
The young girl is resting
her chin on her hands as she gazes sadly out of the window.
NO COPY.
3.
Repeat of 2. However now the young girls
eye are big and wide and her face has a huge toothy grin on it. One of her
front teeth is missing in that cute little kid way.
A rainbow flash of colour
can be seen in the reflection of the window.
NO COPY.
4.
The young girl has turned to her mother;
she pulls on her sleeve to get her attention.
YOUNG GIRL: Mummy look,
look outside.
5.
Looking over the shoulders of the young
girl and her mother we look out of the window with them.
The rain has stopped. The
sun beats down bright and a rainbow stretches out across the sky.
MOTHER: Wow Lauren look at
that rainbow.
YOUNG GIRL: But mum you
missed the pony.
I couldn't help but think of that 'Young Lois on the train' scene from the original Donner Superman flick.
ReplyDeleteIntentional? Either way this was a fun page. I like the fact we don't actually SEE dash either.
This is a perfect example of the "Show, Don't Tell" rule. Masterfully handled thru the child's expression, a meeting of imaginations. Beautiful page on many levels. The last line really got me.
ReplyDeleteWell played, Shaun.
Beautiful. It's a deceptively simple idea, but you pull it off without a hitch. The choice to leave so much up to the reader's imagination is exquisite and perfectly done.
ReplyDelete