Sunday, April 14, 2013

Masks and Mobsters – All The Pieces - Shaun Richens.


PAGE ONE – 5 PANELS
Layout
111
222
344
555

1. Tight close up on the hand of DETECTIVE DON COSGROVE. The hand holds a double one domino piece between its thumb and forefinger.

COSGROVE: Domino piece again. It’s the same guy.

2. Pull out to a wide shot. Don Cosgrove stands with his partner ROGER HARRIS. They both wear fitted suits and fedoras. Don is still holding the domino piece and has a half finished cigarette in the other hand. Don has graying hair and is the much older partner, Roger being the young rookie. 

The pair stand in a large, luxurious 50’s style office. A huge window behind them looks out at Golden City at night, the lights of the big city shimmer off the rain covered glass.

On the floor in front of the detectives is a fat balding man; he wears a fine suit minus the jacket, his white shirt soaked in sweat. He is bound and gagged and is gently weeping. This is KEN ‘THE KING’ CAMPBELL, one of Golden cities biggest crime bosses.

COSGROVE: Get the gag off this big baby. Lets see if he’s singing the same tune as the others.

3. Close up on Ken Campbell as Roger pulls the gag from his mouth.

NO COPY.

4. Still on Ken Campbell his mouth now free to talk.

KEN: Take me in. I’ll tell you everything. <Sob>

KEN: Just keep her away from me.

5. Same panel set up as 2 but tighter in on the detectives and more of the window in panel.

THE Domino perches on the window ledge; she is illuminated against the bright lights of her city.

The Domino is a slim, lean but muscular African American woman. She wears a fitted black suit and a long black coat. She wears her hair in a small Afro and over her eyes rests a white domino mask. Her hands are covered with black gloves and around her neck rests a set of white pearls.

COSGROVE & HARRIS: Her?


6 comments:

  1. Nice page. The Domino is cool.

    I think you could possibly drop p3, and just show the removed gag in rogers hand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I only kept that panel in to add a beat off silence for the reader, a moment of pause before things kicked up a gear. Maybe it didn't play off as well as I'd hoped.

      Delete
  2. It'd be an interesting concept to see how Domino would fit into Golden City given the timeframe and period of history the story takes place in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've just finished the first series of Mad Men and recently watched the flick The Help, I know for a fact this has played into my script.

      Really pleased you liked the concept though Mr Hill.

      Delete
  3. A classic set-up done with style, Shaun. It hadn't initially clicked with me, but Dan's right in pointing out the rich story-potential a character like Domino would have in a setting such as this. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like the fact that Domino is pretty fully fleshed out in one page. You give us everything we need to know in a short amont of space. Nice compressed storytelling. Domino's a keeper; I hope you bring her back soon...

    ReplyDelete

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