Saturday, April 27, 2013

Quantum & Woody - Shameless Plug (or, Preaching to the Choir) - by R.A. Wonsowski

1 - Black Panel across the top, with white "typewriter" text.  Copy reads:
"Who Can Save Us Now?!"

Rest of page lays out like this:


Panels 3 to 7 are all white backgrounds.

2 - Interior, a 7-Eleven mini-mart.  Two DINGBATS in hoodies and sunglasses are out cold on the floor.  Chips and soda are strewn about as the manager and cashier look on the mess with "I wonder who's gonna clean up this mess" looks upon their faces.  QUANTUM and WOODY look disappointedly at their catch.  QUANTUM is ejecting the bullet from the chamber of a cheap semi-automatic pistol.  WOODY is sipping from a bottle of cola from a straw.

WOODY:  Well, this was another lackluster use of our talents.

QUANTUM:  Now, Woody, the weed of crime grows in untended gardens such as...

3 - Foreground, QUANTUM throws his hands up in despair.  WOODY looks concerned after his partner.

QUANTUM:  Oh, who are we kidding?!?  This is USELESS!!!

WOODY:  Eric?

QUANTUM:  Why are we even bothering?  We've already been cancelled TWICE!!

4 - WOODY puts his hand on QUANTUM's shoulder, as QUANTUM looks toward the reader in despair.

WOODY:  What are you talking about?

QUANTUM:  And now we're being relaunched!  Oh, please, fickle comics-buying audience!  Reject us again!

QUANTUM:  If they won't buy Chris "Black Panther" Priest, what makes them think they'll buy these new guys?!

5 - WOODY pulls out his smartphone with a crooked smile on his face.  QUANTUM looks at the screen.

WOODY:  Well, why not get one of these guys to write...

QUANTUM:   ..."Thought Balloons".

6 - Close-up on WOODY's smartphone screen with the ThoughtBalloons logo across the top, held
in a white-gloved hand.

WOODY:  Yeah, these guys are unpublished for the most part, but they're dedicated.  And a lot of what they write is pretty good.

7 - QUANTUM, now more confident, points to WOODY's cellphone screen. WOODY rolls his eyes.

QUANTUM:  You know, this isn't a bad idea.  What about this guy?

WOODY:  Wonsowski?  The Rob Liefeld of the written word?  Please...


  1. You're way harsh with yourself here. Liefeld indeed. This is a fun, meta script.

    1. Agreed. As fun as self-depreciating humor can be, picking Liefeld feels like you're really giving yourself a low blow.

    2. Hard to choose: it was either him or Greg Land...


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