Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Planetary- There May Be Trouble Ahead -Dan Hill


Wide panel : Day. An establishing shot looking out over the tops of a an oppressively hot looking jungle, stretching as far as the eye can see.

CAPTION: Brazil.

BLUE CAPTION: “I think I’ve found the opening, control.”

RED CAPTION: “Is the signal still going strong?”

BLUE CAPTION: “Roger. Fifty two pulses. A pause. Then the whole cycle starts afresh.”

Wide panel: We’re somewhere underground now. It’s dark, with a single shaft of sunlight firing through a crack in the ceiling. Through this same crack is a rope, down which JAKITA WAGNER is lowering herself. She’s dressed in tactical gear suitable for a jungle environment, a flashlight attached to her breast pocket.

The panel is mostly shrouded in shadow, but the bits we can see suggest this is some kind of abandoned temple.

BLUE CAPTION: “There’s something else.”

RED CAPTION: “Repeat that last message. We’re getting some feedback this end.”

BLUE CAPTION: “The pulses. They're getting closer together.”

On Jakita, now off the line, as she begins to take in her surroundings. We can see she has a radio headset on and holds a handheld device that looks a bit like an iPhone.

RADIO (JAGGED): When did this start happening?

From Jakita’s POV. She’s flicking the flashlight around, pointing it into the recesses of the temple as she walks.

The flashlight reveals a piece of stone wall. An intricate carved pattern is set into it, all thick lines. The pattern depicts two spheres, possibly planets, in close proximity.

About five minutes ago....

Tight on Jakita’s feet as she continues to walk deeper into the complex. The floor beneath her is also stone, but there's a strange circuit board pattern carved into it that has begun to pulse with a blue light.

JAKITA: Control, the pulse is coalescing. It's a voice.

On Jakita, the temple suddenly lit up in a blue light, not too dissimilar to the blue in a flame. We’re tight on her so can’t see much of her surroundings at the moment.

JAKITA: I’m switching the scanner to audio output.

JAKITA: You’re going to want to hear this...

Large panel: A crane shot from behind Jakita. She’s in the large, main chamber of the temple complex.

The chamber itself is a perfect cube, the walls rising fifty feet straight up. They, and the floor , are all marked with the same intricately carved patterns-- all thick lines and circuit board lines. All of the lines pulse with the same pale blue light.

In front of Jakita, in the centre of the panel and towering towards the top of the chamber stands a statue of Darkseid.

SCANNER: All have fallen, only one remains...all have fallen, only one remains...all have fallen, only one remains...


  1. Nice page Dan. Good slow build to the reveal.

  2. Wow, Mr. Hill, there is lot to like about this page. The build, from the Jakita we know to the situation that's way over her head, the mood and pacing. Strong page, sir...

  3. Reminded me of Prometheus's tense atmosphere through the temple build up sequence and I loved your slow build, the shaft of light, the broken temple then the sci fi twist followed by THAT reveal. A slice of fired gold sir.

  4. Although I think the reveal deserves its own page, that is a great, mysterious build-up. And Darkseid/Fourth World is something Planetary never touched on.


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