Friday, June 7, 2013

Human Torch - Light Up the World - J.D. Coughlan


Panel 1: Establishing shot of an icy wasteland on an alien planet. Maybe put two moons in the sky or something to show it's not Earth. It should look very cold and hellishly windy. There is a small group of travellers making their way through the snow.

JOHNNY (CAP): They say I'm the irresponsible one.

Panel 2: Closer on the alien travellers now. Wrapped up tight in arctic gear. One of them is stumbling over, the others look to him in alarm.

JOHNNY (CAP): That I'm only in this game for the fun, the fame, the girls.

Panel 3: The other travellers gather around their fallen comrade, helping him up. He gestures to them, "go on without me." Some of them look to each other in hopelessness. Even if they leave him, they may not survive.

JOHNNY (CAP): And, sure, that stuff's cool...

Panel 4: Same shot, but now there is a light shining down on them. They look to its off-panel source in awe. Some of the snow around them is beginning to melt.

JOHNNY (CAP): But if that's all I wanted, I'd just go on some crappy reality TV show.

Panel 5: Large. Johnny, in flame-on mode, hovers over the travellers, smiling.

JOHNNY (CAP): Truth is, helping people...

JOHNNY (CAP): Well that just warms my heart.

END OF PAGE

4 comments:

  1. Hi MK. Great page. The last line is perfect. Might not work with another character but for Johnny it ties back to the lighthearted part of his personality that loves the fun, the fame and the girls.
    He's not trying to be cheesily sentimental... he's being a smart alec while still managing to be genuine.

    I think p1 would benefit from more directness...

    "Two moons hang in the sky. It is very cold and hellishly windy."

    Will create more atmosphere than

    "Maybe put two moons in the sky or something to show it's not Earth. It should look very cold and hellishly windy."

    Though perhaps you prefer this more conversational style to build your rapport with the artist.

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  2. This is, I think, the core of Johnny's character. He may act all flash and look pretty, but deep down, he has a calling to be a hero. It's not a job, for him, it's a vocation. I think you nail that sentiment very well. Great piece.

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  3. Nice and atmospheric. The visuals are great and get better towards the end. But the real strength here lies in the captions and the look at Johnny's thought processes regarding his own character.

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  4. The bold new worlds style opening is so in tone with the fantastic four. Your captions and near perfect and get right to the core of what Storm is all about. He is true blue good guy.

    This page shows how well character captions can work to tell a different story in unison with a more straight narrative in the actual panels.

    Oh and ending a Johnny Storm page on the line "Well that just warms my heart" just deserves a round of applause.

    ReplyDelete

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