Sunday, June 9, 2013

Storm - New Position - R.A. Wonsowski

Panel 1 - In a wind-whipped sky on the Shi'ar homeworld, above a citadel, STORM casts lightning from each of her hands (she is in her new costume and mohawk hairdo).  One is deflected by the hammer of BETA-RAY BILL, the other by the power cosmic of the SILVER SURFER.

STORM:  No!  I will not!

BETA-RAY BILL:  Woman!  You must!


Panel 2 - The weather beginning to calm, the SILVER SURFER approaches STORM on his board. STORM is listening and calming, but her guard is up.

SURFER:  All of his heralds, former and recent, are gone.  I am the last there is.

SURFER:  I have to discover what happened to them and why.


Panel 3 - From above, we see STORM, the SURFER, and BETA-RAY BILL hovering close to each other, looking past us and the storm clouds.  SURFER is pointing upwards, BETA-RAY holds his hammer
across his chest.  STORM  looks conflicted.

SURFER:  But I need Bill's help, and the master cannot be without the merciful guiding hand of a herald.

SURFER:  Outside of yourself, I know of none more honourable in the galaxy.

BETA-RAY BILL:  (or closer...)


Panel 4 - STORM looks at BETA-RAY, his face offers nothing.

NO COPY


Panel 5 - She looks down at the Shi'ar rooftops.

NO COPY


Panel 6 - Close-up, STORM looks up into the sky again, now determined.

NO COPY


Panel 7 - STORM flies upwards, away from the SURFER and BILL, punching a hole in the clouds.

STORM:  Fine.


Panel 8 - Foreground, STORM flies away from us.  In the background, knee-deep in the clouds, the towering silhouette of GALACTUS watches her approach.

STORM:  But be about your business quickly, Surfer.  I am pledged to the cause of life.

STORM:  I have no wish to be a bringer of death.

[Next page would be a half page splash of GALACTUS, hand outstretched, bestowing the power cosmic on STORM, followed by a panel blast cosmic light, then a full page splash of STORM in her new form as a (temporary) herald, flying into space.]

5 comments:

  1. The thing that gets me about this script is I'm going to be expecting an explanation for why Beta Ray Bill is involved (I don't think his name has a hyphen in it anywhere, BTW). Given his own history with Galactus and the heralds (Stardust especially), it feels off that he'd help Surfer out with the herald problem or insist that anyone take on the burden of filling Surfer's shoes.

    I know there's the mention of Galactus needing a 'merciful' guiding hand, but it still all feels off and wrong given the continuity I'm familiar with.

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  2. I LOVE the idea behind the concept of the page. That said, some of Surfer's dialogue struck me as a little on the nose here.

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  3. The concept is a damn awesome one. Its as big as you can get for a cosmic storyline and folding Storm into these matters makes for literally hundreds of possibilities of places this can go.

    But that for my is why the page doesn't quite work. I think you try and do too much for a one pager. This has all the elements for an opening issue of a mini. I mean any Galcutus reveal deserves a whole page splash. :) I think thats maybe why some of Surfers dialogue was a little on the nose as Dan said, perhaps it had to be to work in one page.

    However when my only issue with your page is that I felt the idea was too big and I just wanted more of, thats not all bad.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, I have to admit I fell in love with the concept early on, but as the week drew to a close, I was almost forcing it to make it work. It almost makes it worse, when you can't let go of the idea, yet everything you try to lasso it in makes it so much more far away than what you want...

      And, MK, good call on Bill. I went back into my Marvel Cosmic stuff, and you're right. I'm usually more up on my continuity...

      Oh well, they can't all be blue ribbon...On with the show!!!

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  4. I like the idea behind this... would be interesting to see what you're idea of her suped up herald powers would have been.

    I think this page might have worked better if you put more focus on Storm saying NO to Galactus - which is the crux of your story/character development here.

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