Thursday, June 13, 2013

Storm - Weather-Beaten - J.D. Coughlan

Four long horizontal panels.

Panel 1: Close-up of Storm. She looks exhausted, anguished, defeated. Rain pours down on her face.

STORM (CAP): I can tame the elements.

Panel 2: Medium shot of Storm. We now see she is on her hands and knees in a field of green grass. Rain pours down on her.

STORM (CAP): I can make wind and rain and hail and thunder and lightning do my bidding.

Panel 3: Wide shot of Storm. The field, and the rain, stretches far.

STORM (CAP): But my powers are useless against the uncontrollable chaos I now face.

Panel 4: Very wide shot. Storm is almost a dot now, but still identifiable. We now see a road next to the field. In the foreground, next to the road, is a large sign which reads:

welcomes you
ceud mìle fàilte

STORM (CAP): I have met my match.



  1. As a cheesy, tongue-in-cheek piece. Verges on groan-worthy, but in a good way. X^D

    If there's one piece of advice I'd offer for this script, though, it would be that I think this script could probably be a lot better if you could find a way to enact in "show, don't tell" by actually showing us what led us to this moment (highlighted by the reveal of Scotland) rather than just giving us a defeated Storm and having her narrate about it.

  2. Yes! Excellent!!!

    As an Irishman I'm with you all the way on this one. Well done!

    I do wonder if it can possibly resonate as well with the Though-Ballooners from warmer climates.

  3. I might have missed the point here, but is this suggesting the elements maybe controlling/exhausting Ororo?

    If so, then that's a pretty neat idea.


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