Thursday, July 4, 2013
Gwen Stacy - Tales From the Refrigerator! - J.D. Coughlan
Panel 1: Inside the evil lair of The Misogynist, who looks like a typical wannabe "alpha male"; fat, unshaven, slovenly, dressed in sweats and, appropriately, a wife-beater shirt. He laughs maniacally while an attractive young woman dangles from a rope above a vat of acid. The Misogynist addresses a square-jawed young man, who is tied up and forced to watch.
MISOGYNIST: You will now be forced to watch your girlfriend suffer horribly; thus improving your character development at the expense of her own!
Panel 2: Part of the wall explodes inwards, revealing Gwen Stacy, Alex DeWitt, Karen Page and Sue Dibny, standing in Charlie's Angels style poses. Gwen points dramatically to the (off-panel) Misogynist.
GWEN: Not so fast, Misogynist!
MISOGYNIST (O.P.): Blast! It's the Dead Girlfriends Squad!
Panel 3: Gwen high-kicks the Misogynist in the face, while Sue and Karen help the girl down, and Alex unties the guy.
Panel 4: The Dead Girlfriends Squad stands with arms over each others shoulders, along with the guy and girl, all smiling, like the last shot of an 80s sitcom episode. The Misogynist sits on the floor, tied up, looking defeated and angry.
MISOGYNIST: (small) Grumble, grumble, make me a sandwich...
GWEN: Remember, everyone, using female characters as nothing more than emotional collateral for the male characters is sexist, and ultimately one of the major causes of low female readership in comics. However, sometimes it is justifiable in context, and basing an opinion on nothing more than gender is also detrimental to the cause of equality.
GWEN: Also, sometimes lazy writing is just lazy writing.
ALL: (except Misogynist) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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