Friday, July 12, 2013

The Attache Case - Closure - Niel Jacoby

1: Agent Graves is sitting across a diner booth from a man in his mid-thirties. The man is casually dressed and relaxed as he takes a sip of his cola, as his burger sits in front of him.

Man: SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT YOU'RE GIVING ME THIS CASE, WITH A GUN AND 100 UNTRACEABLE BULLETS...

2: The man, looking vaguely quizzical, has pulled a photograph out of the case, and is showing it to the man. It's from the late eighties, showing a young, 20-something man playing bass with a rock band.

Man: ...SO I CAN KILL THIS GUY?
(link)
IF I SO CHOOSE, OF COURSE.

Graves(off-panel): WHY WOULDN'T YOU? HE ABANDONED YOUR FAMILY FOR THE ROCKSTAR LIFE, PAYING NO HEED TO THE NEEDS OR WANTS OF YOU AND YOUR MOTHER.

3: The man is wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Graves(op): HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO CATCH UP TO HIM? MAKE HIM OWN UP TO WHAT HE DID TO YOU AND YOUR MOTHER?

4: The man is wiping his hands with the napkin.

Man: SEEMS YOU'RE A DAY LATE AND A DOLLAR SHORT ON THIS ONE, OLD MAN.

5: Flashback to the tearful reunion between the man and his father. The father has really taken a toll from his years on the road, he's obviously picked up a few addictions on the way.

Man(Caption): HE'S BEEN DOWN ON HIS LUCK SINCE THE BAND DISSOLVED. A DOCUMENTARY CREW ARRANGED A REUNION, AND WE'VE ARRANGED TO GET HIM INTO REHAB. Y'KNOW, ALL THAT LOVEY-DOVEY HAPPY ENDING CRAP.

6: The man is leaving the diner, his head turned to Graves and the case in his hand.

Man: BUT HEY, 100 UNTRACEABLE BULLETS? PRETTY FUN WEEKEND, WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?

7: Graves stares, stonefaced, as the man walks out the door.
Inset: Closeup on Graves' mouth, as a small smile begins to form.

3 comments:

  1. I like the dialogue here, as well as the notion of Graves being 'too late' (although going on his smile he may not be).

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  2. I always liked how in 100B, you had that feeling of "will he/won't he" every clifhanger moment. You really nail that tone with this script. Fun weekend, indeed...

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  3. Nice script Neil, and I'd be interested to see the fun weekend play out.

    What doesn't work for me here is Graves character. He usually works off extremely sound intelligence and he never tries to influence the recipient on what thy should do with the attaché.

    ReplyDelete

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