Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Attache -Limits- Dan Hill

Page One (Five Panels)

Panel One
In the foreground, sitting at a wooden table, is Natalya. The attache case sits on the table in front of her. Natalya has dirty blonde hair and wears clothes that look like they were bought at the Salvation Army. Behind her, lurking in the shadows like a devil on her shoulder is Agent Graves. A single lightbulb dangles from the ceiling.

NATALYA: Mr Graves, you do not understand.

Panel Two
A shot of Natalya wearing a cheap evening dress as she sits in the back of a limousine. Sitting next to her is a boisterous looking politician wearing an ill fitting suit.

He’s passing a wad of cash to a patrolman who’s leaning in through the window. Both of them are laughing. Natalya isn’t.

NATALYA (CAPTION): I have seen your police look the other way.

Panel Three
Close up on the top of a shipping container sitting on the docks. A few holes have been drilled and cut into the top of the container. One of the larger of these holes is in the foreground of the panel, three fingers protruding from it, pathetically reaching for the light or trying to get someone’s attention.

From off panel a workman’s boot is about to stomp on the fingers.

NATALYA (CAPTION): Decency ignored for a promise of money.

Panel Four
A group of hard craggy-looking men in black military gear drag a screaming Natalya from her bed as a young child stands in the corner screaming its heart out.

NATALYA (CAPTION): And monsters calling themselves men.

Panel Five
Back in the basement. A shot of Natalya as she turns to look at Graves/us.

NATALYA: A hundred bullets is not enough.

3 comments:

  1. Cool page with nice pulpy dialogue. Revenge flick waiting to happen.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fantastic page, Dan. A noir promise of things to come. Natalya, in one page, already has the makings of a great character.

    This is one thing I admire about you as a writer: you build up great, strong female characters; your women are very well created and developed. In a way, this page recalls a lot of the stuff I loved about your Unknown Soldier script.

    Hell of a page, sir. Good show.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Powerfully chilling. The lack of resolution implied by the last line just adds to the effect, and suggests an unconventional revenge story.

    ReplyDelete

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