Galactus – Irrecoverable – Brian Manton

1.

In a student-looking sitting room, two twenty-somethings pay no attention to each other as they stare at screens.  Mike is at his PC desk with his back to us and Jane is sitting on the couch cross-legged, staring into the laptop on her lap - the screen reflected in her glasses.

SFX (from Mike's PC):  BLING

MIKE:  Jane, why are you emailing me?

2.

We see Mike's computer screen logged into his gmail account, with a focus on the attachment in the email Jane sent - "herald.exe". The mouse pointer is over the attachment.

Jane (OP):  It's cool, check it out.

SFX:  click

3.

Still on Mike's screen. Mike's hand, raised in shock and confusion is also in shot.

A dialogue box has popped up on screen.  At the top there is a progress bar, already at 48%. Beneath this is a scrolling details field which reads:

The folder "Stories from Nebulon Prime" has been deleted.

The folder "The Adventures of Kazdor the Great" has been deleted.

The folder "The Black Necromancer and the White Donkey" has been deleted.

The folder "Confessions of an Orcslayer" has been deleted.

The folder "Down and Out on Planet Isotania" has been deleted.

Mike:  No no no no no no no no--

4.

Still on Mike's screen. He has opened a browser and gone to “runscanner.net” to look up what herald.exe is.

URL - http://www.runscanner.net/lib/herald.exe.html

The website screen reads:

What is Herald.exe?

*red warning symbol* MALWARE

File description:

Herald.exe is a virus that has been designed to detect and delete amateur SciFi and Fantasy fiction.

The program runs once and does not install itself on your system but the files it deletes are irrecoverable.

Mike: What the hell?!

5.

Jane is standing on the couch, her arms raised in victory. Her laptop is flipped upside-down beside her.

Mike has spun around in his chair and stares at her incredulously.

Jane:  I AM GALACTUS - DESTROYER OF WORLDS!!!

Galactus - Dinner In The Hands of a Hungry God - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: A ragged man in a glittery silver overcoat rants on a street corner. He has a handful of pamphlets.

Ragged Man: MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE TERROR OF THE COMING OF GALACTUS!

Panel 2: Closer in on the ragged man, and we can see his inhuman features(no ears, cloudy eyes) and chrome-tinged face, as if he were huffing paint, but across his whole face.

Ragged Man: I HAVE SEEN OUR PLANET A COSMIC BUFFET, TO BE SUPPED FROM AT HIS LEISURE!

Panel 3: We see the ragged man shouting at the sky, tears streaking down his chrome face.

Ragged Man: MAKE PEACE NOW, BEFORE THE FINAL SEASONING! MAKE PEACE, I BEG YOU!

Panel 4: We see the ragged man fall to his knees, sobbing.

NO COPY

Credits: The cover of one of the ragged man's pamphlets, a Chick Tract-esque cover, with the title/credits on one side, and a monochrome picture of Galactus holding Earth like a burger, in purple, black and white.

Galactus - The Message - J.D. Coughlan

Panel 1: A sophisticated science lab on an alien world. Everything should indicate a late-20th century level of development. There is communication equipment everywhere, as well as star charts. On a large wall monitor, there is a display of what we know is Taa II, Galactus' ship. One scientist, Kran, is hunched over what looks like a radio receiver. Another, Steen, enters, looking fearfully excited.

STEEN: The media is already beginning to speculate! We can't keep this secret forever!

Panel 2: Close on Kran. He has not looked up from the radio.

KRAN: Keep what secret? We don't know what it is either.

Panel 3: Steen looks up at the display of Taa II.

STEEN: Just that it's massive and heading this way.

STEEN: By the gods, it could knock the outer planets out of orbit...

Panel 4: Again, Kran remains hunched over, but Steen turns round in alarm at his words.

KRAN: The message is clearer.

STEEN: What!?

Panel 5: Now Steen joins Kran by the radio. Steen is like a child, full of wonder. Kran is grim.

STEEN: Our first message from beyond the stars...

STEEN: Let me hear it! Let me hear proof that we are not alone; that someone else out there seeks the same answers we do!

Panel 6: Close up of the radio. Kran's hand adjusts a control.

RADIO: I... HUNGER... I... HUNGER... I... HUNGER... I... HUNGER...

END OF PAGE

Galactus – War and Feast – Shaun Richens.

PAGE ONE – 4 PANELS

1.1

We open on the scared and burning ruins of a once great and majestic futuristic cityscape. Three moons orbit the sun that hangs low in the sky.

Kree and Skrull bodies line the streets of this forgotten city. No one survived this battle.

CAPTION:

Wars can ravage entire species. Wipe cities from the history books.

1.2

Row upon row of HYDRA SOLDIERS lines the streets. They all stand perfectly to attention as RED SKULL paces in front of them his arms folded behind his back.

CAPTION:

Monsters can raise whole nations to their cause. They can try to change the world with hatred.

1.3

A well-dressed female news anchor sits behind a smart modern steel news desk as she goes live across the world. Cyclops wearing his marvel now costume, is the main image for an on screen box out that sits in the top right of the panel. Underneath him reads WANTED.

CAPTION:

A hero can live long enough to become the villain in his own story.

1.4

The massive gloved hand of GALACTUS reaches out across the vast blackness of space past hundreds of stars and cups EARTH between his mighty fingers.

CAPTION:

It is all insignificant when the rumble is heard.

CAPTION:

None of it matters when the hunger comes.

CAPTION:

When Galactus needs to feast.

Galactus – Unpaid Advertisement – MK Stangeland Jr.

(7 Panels)

Panel 1: Large panel stretching across the top of the page.

GALACTUS stands in the middle of NEW YORK CITY. Around his feet lay the defeated bodies of assorted heroes from any number of superhero teams, from THE AVENGERS to the FANTASTIC FOUR to THE DEFENDERS, etc.

GALACTUS: Now that I have swept aside its champions, I may finally feast on this wretched planet.

DEADPOOL: (Off-Panel) Not so fast, big guy!

Panel 2: DEADPOOL stands next to a colossal-sized SNICKERS bar, one that’s bigger than a large semi-trailer, complete with a giant wrapper.

DEADPOOL: Before you eat the planet, try eating this first!

Panel 3: GALACTUS curiously picks up the giant SNICKERS bar.

GALACTUS: What trickery is this?

DEADPOOL: No tricks, just treats.

DEADPOOL: (Yellow Box) Happy Halloween!

Panel 4: GALACTUS is chewing on a bite of the giant SNICKERS bar.

GALACTUS (1): …

GALACTUS (2): For the first time since I can remember…

Panel 5: GALACTUS holds what’s left of the SNICKERS bar in his hand, but his face is an unusual sight for GALACTUS – he’s smiling, happy as can be.

GALACTUS: Galactus no longer hungers!

Panel 6: Long panel stretching across the bottom of the page. Landscape shot of Galactus sitting down in the middle of NEW YORK CITY as he happily finishes off the colossal-sized SNICKERS bar.

FLOATING WORDS (1): Hungry?

FLOATING WORDS (2): Grab a [Snickers Logo]

Panel 7: Small, circular panel set inside Panel 6 off to the right side. DEADPOOL sticks out of it from the waist up in a way where he may even stretch out into PANEL 6 a little.

DEADPOOL is smiling as best he can through his mask with a cheesy spokesman grin, and holds a giant 3-foot long SNICKERS BAR.

DEADPOOL (1): Now available in COSMIC FIESTA size!

DEADPOOL (2): (Yellow Box) For a limited time only at participating stores!

(END PAGE)

Galactus -Fantastic Voyage -Dan Hill

Page 1

Panel 1: A wide establishing shot of the FANTASTIC FOUR all buckled into seats inside a small submersible type craft. REED is at the controls, SUE sits next to him in the co-pilot’s chair. BEN and JOHNNY fool around in a pair of chairs behind them.

1. REED (caption):        A lot of people tell me I’m tightly wound.

2. REED:                       Knock it off back there!

3. JOHNNY:                  Confined spaces and Ben’s new high fibre diet are not agreeing with me.

4. BEN:                         Yeah? Shut yer yap, Eau du Brimstone.

5. REED (caption):        That I seek out challenges and stressful situations.

Panel 2: On REED, tense and serious.

6. REED (caption):        They’d be right.

7. REED:                       Look!

8. REED (caption):        But I exercise regularly. I eat well.

Panel 3: Large panel, the craft the group are in (something like this http://www.diseno-art.com/images_3/AQUA_submersible_side_large.jpg)  floats through a cosmic void. Kirby crackle sparks and misfires all around them and the craft is heading for a unnaturally red, pulsing star in the centre of the panel, far far in the background.

9. REED (caption):        The same can’t be said for Galactus.

10. REED (caption):        He eats anything.

11. REED (caption):        And now the supernova he calls a heart is about to go critical.

11. REED (caption):        This would be a very bad thing.

Panel 4: Inset panel in the upper left of Panel 3, a close up on SUE.

13. SUE:            It’s beautiful.

Panel 5: Inset panel on the bottom left of Panel 3, a close up on REED.

14. REED:            Magnificent.

Panel 6: Inset panel on the top right of Panel 3, a close up on JOHNNY.

15. JOHNNY:            Wait, that’s his heart?

Panel 7: Inset panel on the bottom right of Panel 3, a close up on (yep, you guessed it) BEN.

16. BEN:            I don’t like this. I don’t like any of this.  

Panel 8: Wide panel, the pulsating red star fills the frame.

17. REED (caption):        Surgery on a demi-god?

18. REED (caption):        Just another challenge. Just another stressful situation.

Galactus - Feast or Famine - Grant McLaughlin

The majority of the panels should be done in classic Silver Age style.  The exception would be the last panel, which should retain some of those elements, but be rendered in a Skottie Young or Gurihiru-esque manner.

1 - A small, thin panel of the Silver Surfer surfing the galaxy, a determined look on his face.e

CAPTION: The herald scours the cosmos in search for planets that can sustain his dread lord

2 - The biggest panel of the page, this is a big ol' shot of Galactus in space.  To give some idea of the scale, maybe have some galactic debris floating by, dwarfed by his size.  Also of note: the name Galactus in the 4th caption box should be written all big and title-y, like in those comics where someone's name is being said for the first time.

CAPTION (1): Devourer of worlds

CAPTION (2): The hunger that does not cease

CAPTION (3): God

CAPTION (4): These are but some words used to describe the eternal being that is GALACTUS!

3 - Galactus has both his hands around a planet - which is obviously tiny in his gargantuan grip - preparing to take a bite out of it.

CAPTION: And while his appetite can never be sated for long, he has found a meal that will do - for now.

4 - Similar shot to panel 3, but Galactus looks around to find the source of the interjection, a look of surprised confusion on his face.

TAILLESS WORD BALLOON: "Are you sure this is healthy?"

5 - Big scene switch here.  Instead of the depths of space, we're in a suburban home.  A young family of three sits at the kitchen table.  The father (who was the one speaking in the last panel) looks worriedly across the table towards the mother.  The mother looks resignedly towards their son who sits between them.  The son doesn't look at either of his parents, as he is too busy ruthlessly devouring an apple that he holds to his mouth (ala panel 3).  Also worth noting, the son's clothing should retain the Galactus colour scheme.

MOTHER: If it gets him eating his fruits and vegetables, I'll take it.

SON (quietly): ...for his hunger must be satisfied...

Galactus - Memories - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Galactus stands, looming large and imposing on the planet Earth.  He is looking down at The Silver Surfer who is facing him (his back to the reader).

SILVER SURFER

I have finally figured you out.

You like to think that you’re a God.  You’re not a God. 

You’re a parasite.

2.  A close up of the Silver Surfer’s face.  He features are stern.  He is not intimidated. 

SILVER SURFER

You don’t feed on just planets.  You feed on its life, on its inhabitants.  On their memories of love and loss and birth and death and freedom and joy and sorrow.

3.  A montage of the people Silver Surfer has encountered during his life on Earth – battling alongside the Avengers, the Fantastic Four and even Spidey.  Also images of Shalla-Bel and others he holds close to him.  This all show in separate fragments.

SILVER SURFER

You want memories? I have seen things you wouldn't believe and lost things you could not hope to comprehend. 

4.  A close up of Galactus' face reacting to his former herald’s tirade.  He is unimpressed.

SILVER SURFER (off panel)

I know secrets that can never be told and knowledge that can never be shared.  Knowledge that would make parasitic Gods flee.

5.  Looking down at the Surfer as he ascends.  He is moving so that he is face to face with Galactus.

SILVER SURFER

So take it!  Take all MY memories.

6.  A side on view of Galactus staring intently at The Silver Surfer who is floating in front of his face so that he may look at him right in his eyes.

SILVER SURFER

I hope you are hungry. 

I have lived a very long life.

Galactus - The Fault in our Stars, 2nd Excerpt - R.A. Wonsowski

(This may be a bit of a cheat, but Galactus kind of inspires bigger layouts...)

Double page spread:

111|111
111|111
222|223

Panel 1 - We are "slightly above" the spinning Milky Way galaxy.  There is a cosmic "tear" in spacetime; this is the new Fault.  The Fault is being held open by the faith-engines of the Cathedral-ships of the Universal Church of Truth, and something - tentacled, many-eyed, cancer-black, and pustules oozing - is seeping and clawing its way from the other side into our universe.
     To the left of the panel, lending their energies to tear open the Fault further, is the MAGUS and the Cancerverse version of ADAM WARLOCK.  They are surrounded by magically glowing sigils, written in alien script, over geometric shapes and turns.  They seem to be in a trance-like rapture, and the MAGUS is definitely the one in control.  Their magic seems to act as a conduit between the Cathedral-ships and the Fault.
     To the right of the panel, GALACTUS has built his Great Engine, linked to his worldship, Taa II, and is currently feeding on the closest Cathedral-ship as tendrils from his apparatus seek out a second.  He bats away a third with his free arm, a look of annoyance on his face.  As GALACTUS feeds, his current heralds, STARDUST and PRAETER, as well as the SILVER SURFER, attack the horror emerging from the Fault, wielding their Power Cosmic.  GALACTUS, however, appears a bit gaunt, as if he is slowly being drained.
     In the foreground, we see an Avengers Quinjet, burners off.

MAGUS & CANCERVERSE ADAM WARLOCK:  F´thagn!  F´thagn!  F´thagn!!!

GALACTUS:  ...MORE...noo...


Panel 2 - Looking out the windshield are our heroes.  CAPTAIN MARVEL (Carol Danvers) is in the pilot's seat, MONICA RAMBEAU (in her Nextwave outfit) is copilot.  Behind them, standing left to right are CRYSTAL (Inhuman wife to Ronan the Accuser), STORM and ARMOR of the X-Men, HELLCAT, CLEA, MANTIS, KATE BISHOP, ELSA BLOODSTONE and BOOM BOOM (also of Nextwave), GAMORA, and VALKYRIE.  Their faces (except for CLEA, who is smirking) all reveal the realization that they may be out of their depth; BOOM BOOM has dropped her 32 oz. coffee.  Reflected in windshield glass is the soundless screaming mouth of GALACTUS.

STORM:   By the goddess...

HELLCAT:  Ladies, I am SO buying the first round next Wednesday.

CLEA:  Kate, Hisako, you're with me...


Panel 3:  Close-up on CLEA's face, a knowing smile.  Her hair is swept back, to show us that her face is beginning to take on the Faltine features of her father, the dread Dormammu.  Magic sparks from her eyes.

CLEA:  ...I have a plan.

...to be continued...

Why Galactus?

...seriously?!?...

A hero, any hero, is measured by the challenges and threats they face, and none with a capital NONE get any bigger than Galactus.

Galactus was born when the previous universe "crunched" and produced the Big Bang.  He gestated in a kind of egg until an intergalactic war woke him up.  His long hibernation had produced a hunger so great, he devoured both sides.  From the remains of the planetary system, he created his worldship, and began traveling the universe searching for worlds to consume.

Eventually, his travels led him to the world of Zenn-La, where Norrin Radd offered himself to act as his herald, to search out appropriate planets for Galactus, if Galactus would spare his world.  Galactus agreed, and since then, has always had a herald working with him.

A herald is born...

Each herald is given a portion of the Power Cosmic, a sliver of the vast energies within Galactus himself.  Galactus must feed on life-rich worlds to convert into life-rich Power Cosmic to ensure what he has termed as the Great Balance.  Basically, his actions make sure that neither Eternity nor Death gains too great a fingerhold on our universe; a world must die so that others may live.

Of course, Stan and Jack's immortal Fantastic Four 48-50 brought Galactus to our world, and Earth was now one of a select few worlds that stayed his hand.  Galactus has continued to devour worlds since then, and is a source of terror to all sentient beings.

Devourer of Worlds

Now, as a result of the recent Age of Ultron event, Galactus has the Ultimate Marvel universe to feed on.  But with no Galactus in our universe, there is no more balance between Eternity and Death.  Now two universes are in peril, and that tale is being told in the new mini-series, HUNGER, followed by CATACLYSM.

By the way, to all of you visitors to our site, we hope that you will play along too.  Just write your best one-pager of script in the reply section right under this Why.  And everyone can share that appetite for destruction...

...my god, it's full of beans...

Kick Ass – Perfect Punch – Brian Manton

[16 panel grid]

1.
Two street thugs, Phillie and Needles, root through a handbag they have just stolen.  Kick Ass is approaching in the bkg.

2.
OTS Kick Ass as he points a baton at them. They look at him, neither surprised or intimidated.

3.
KA swings the baton but Phillie grabs it.

4.
Phillie now holds KA's arm behind is back while Needles punches him in the stomach.

5.
Phillie pushes KA towards Needles.

6.
KA swings an uppercut landing it powerfully on Needle's jaw.

7.
Phillie kicks KA in the ass and Needles hammer punches the back of his head with clasped hands.

8.
KA is on the ground, facing us. He grabs Needles's leg. Phillie kicks him in the back.

9.
Needles stamps on KA's face. Phillie makes an "oooh" wincing face.

10.
Phillie and Needles move in front of KA obscuring our view as they both stamp on him.

11.
They stop and look at each other, checking that they've each had enough fun with this.

12.
Needles takes KA's batons. Phillie spits on KA.

13. Full bottom tier.
Kick Ass lying on the ground, battered and bloody, eyes barely holding open. His assailants walk away in the background.

A thought balloon extends from Kick Ass's head. The thought balloon contains the same shot as panel 6.

CAP:  Kick ass!

Kick-Ass - The Fault in Our Stars, intermezzo - R.A. Wonsowski

Panel 1 - KICK-ASS on the ground, beat up, propped against a mailbox under a streetlight.  He's had seven shades of crap kicked out of him.  His costume is torn, he is bleeding profusely, fifteen or so purple-fletched arrows stick out of him like a pincushion, and one of his batons is sticking out of his toothless mouth.  One of the arrows has a note attached, reading "NO ONE takes my place.  EVER."

NO COPY


Panel 2 - The rooftop of CLINT BARTON's apartment building.  KATE BISHOP (in her Hawkeye gear) is doing a dorky-doofus impression of a "derp" KICK-ASS.  CLINT is watching and laughing heartily, wiping a tear from his eye.  He has his arm in a sling, an injury from a previous misadventure.  In the sky, we can see a Quinjet turn.

KATE:  "Duuh, my name is Kick-@$$...calling rapey villains ¿&*#$ makes me edgy and cool...KERK-ERSS!!!"

CLINT:  ...it's funny cuz it's true...


Panel 3 - KATE hugs CLINT, both of them smiling.  The Quinjet is a closer to the roof now, and its hatch is opening.

KATE:  Got any final words of advice on Cosmic Adventuring?

CLINT:  Nah.  You'll be fine.  They wouldn't've picked you if they didn't think you had the stuff.  Believe me, I know. You'll be great.


Panel 4 - KATE boards the Quinjet, greeted by HELLCAT and MANTIS.  MONICA RAMBEAU can be seen waving to CLINT.  KATE and CLINT share that same one-eyebrow-up cockeyed expression.

CLINT:  Now go kick ass.

KATE:  Don't make me do your other arm....

Up next - a Galactic encounter...

Kick-Ass - No Peace For The Wicked - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: MATT MALENKO, a stocky, taller man, ducks into an alleyway. He's wearing a brown suede jacket and tattered black tracksuit pants. His hands are in the pockets of the jacket. Outside the alleyway, we can see City Hall, as the mayor adresses his citizens.

Caption(Malenko): I SAW HIM ON THE TEEVEE.

Panel 2: Malenko pulls a black balaclava over his head, his eyes darting side to side. He's manic, nervous.

Caption(Malenko): THE KID IN THE WETSUIT, CALLED HIMSELF KICK-ASS.

Panel 3: Malenko takes off his jacket, and we can see that the sleeves are covered in blood up to the elbows. He's wearing a cheap black custom t-shirt reading

NO PEACE

FOR THE WICKED

Caption(Malenko): HE CALLED HIMSELF A HERO.

Panel 4: We see a picture in a newspaper of Malenko stabbing the mayor, while dressed in his getup. Malenko is crazed, almost gleeful.

Caption(Malenko): A HERO JUST LIKE ME.

Kick-Ass - The Bystander Effect - J.D. Coughlan

Panel 1: In a car park, a mugger has paused in his beating of his victim to look at Kick-Ass, who has just wandered onto the scene. The mugger is not afraid, more unsure of the situation. (Note: This is set after Kick-Ass has become somewhat famous.)

MUGGER: Aw shit.

Panel 2: Kick-Ass, a little taken aback himself, strides towards the mugger.

KICK-ASS: Wh-What? Don't stop on my account. After all, you've got an audience.

Panel 3: Close-up of several apartment windows overlooking the car park. Some people are looking out, trying not to be seen.

KICK-ASS (O.P.): All these assholes just sitting there watching some dick beat a guy up, thinking, "Gee, somebody should do something about that," but not taking their fingers out their asses long enough to call the cops!

Panel 4: Kick-Ass has now reached the mugger, who is still paused mid-beating.

KICK-ASS: Well watch this...

Panel 5: Same shot, but now Kick-Ass whips out one of his batons and swiftly knocks the mugger out with it.

SFX: WHUPP

MUGGER: Uck!

Panel 6: Wide shot, almost the onlookers' POV, looking down on the car park as Kick-Ass helps the victim up.

KICK-ASS: Every cut and bruise this guy has!? Every minute he'll spend in hospital recovering!? All the worrying his family will do!?

KICK-ASS: That's all on you guys too!

KICK-ASS: You don't need a fucking mask to do something, dumbasses.

END OF PAGE

Kick Ass – Once You Pop - Shaun Richens

PAGE TWENTY-ONE – 5 PANELS.

All page wide panels.

21.1

A large clenched fist rockets into the side of KICK ASS’s jaw knocking it off centre. A spray of blood and saliva erupt from Kick ass’s mouth.

CAPTION KICK ASS:

I’m reminded of when I read Old Man Logan.

21.2

Kick ass is doubled over as a second fist connects with his stomach in a thundering uppercut.

CAPTION KICK ASS:

When I saw what it took to make Wolverine stop poppin’ his claws, it made me wonder.

CAPTION KICK ASS:

What would take to make me give this up?

21.3

The elbow of a second attacker is being driven down into the spine of Kick ass as he tries to get back to his feet. His jaw bloodied and bruised.

CAPTION KICK ASS:

The answer terrified me.

CAPTION KICK ASS:

The clear realisation that there’s only one way I’d ever stop.

21.4

From Kick ass’s POV looking up at a crowd of attackers surrounding him. Some of them have their boots raised off the ground ready to come crashing down on to his skull.

CAPTION KICK ASS:

The only end to this career path is the one luxury Logan never had.

21.5

Black Panel.

CAPTION KICK ASS:

Death.

Kick-Ass – Practically Superhuman – MK Stangeland Jr.

(6 Panels)

Panel 1: PRACTICALLY SUPERHUMAN (SUPERHUMAN) is zipping up a black jumpsuit.

TEXT BOX (1): ‘Superjournal’, Day 1.

TEXT BOX (2): When I said I was retiring to live a quiet life, I should have known that wouldn’t last.

Panel 2: SUPERHUMAN puts on a black ‘ninja’ mask.

TEXT BOX (1): But then this stupid kid – he calls himself ‘Kick @$$’, I think he’s just a ‘Dumb @$$’ – starts something.

TEXT BOX (2): He decides he wants to play ‘superhero’. And, like all dumb @$$ ideas in history, he gets imitators.

Panel 3: SUPERHUMAN is putting on a black bullet-proof vest.

TEXT BOX (1): I’m not one for comic books, but even I know that Superheroes require Supervillains. So naturally, his little movement spawns a bunch of them, too.

TEXT BOX (2): Now the villains want the heroes dead, the cops want the villains and their mob buddies gone, and there’s money to be found dealin’ with both.

Panel 4: SUPERHUMAN puts on a belt loaded with what looks like legitimately dangerous and useful gear  – a pistol with a laser sight and a silencer, various explosive devices, a combat knife, etc.

TEXT BOX (1): Me, of course, I made a living off of killing’ people before I retired.

TEXT BOX (2): I’ve done tours of duty, I’ve got special forces ninja training, done time in prison, all that crazy ****.

Panel 5: SUPERHUMAN readies a weapon that passes as a sniper rifle.

TEXT BOX (1): But even in middle age, I’m practically superhuman compared to most of these jokers. Like an evil kung-fu Batman or something.

TEXT BOX (2): Side Note: I might want to use that as a name if the subject comes up.

Panel 6: SUPERHUMAN stands tall, ready to go to work, armed and ready – his appearance should give him a very powerful ‘this guy is REALLY bad news’ vibe.

SUPERHUMAN (1): Killing costumed idiots for fun and profit?

SUPERHUMAN (2): Sounds like a fun retirement plan to me.

(END PAGE)

Kick Ass - Heads Will Roll -Dan Hill

PAGE 1

A nine panel grid.

Panel 1: A man runs down a deserted city street. He’s in his early 20’s and dressed in an immaculately tailored Italian suit that just cries ‘money’. Probably criminal money.

NO COPY

Panel 2: The man skitters into a side alley, looking over his shoulder as he does so.

NO COPY

Panel 3: The man skids to a halt, faced with a dead end.

NO COPY

Panel 4: The man has his back to the wall, turned towards the mouth of the alley. He holds his hands up. He’s terrified.  

1. MAN:         Oh, God. Please no.

Panel 5: Fixed panel. The man raises his hands some more, fear and hysteria enveloping him.

2. MAN:         Please, I’ll do anything, but--

Panel 6: Fixed panel. A katana swords cuts an arc from the left of the panel to the right, severing the man’s hands at the wrist and decapitating him in one swift motion. A geyser of blood shoots up from the neck.

3. SFX:         Thwwwwwush

Panel 7: We cut to Hit Girl, sword in hand standing in the alley. Her face and costume are soaked with blood. She looks down at her handiwork.

NO COPY

Panel 8: Fixed panel. Hit girl looks up, straight at us.

4. HIT GIRL:         What?

Panel 9: Fixed panel. As before.

5. HIT GIRL:         Did you see the way he was dressed?

6. HIT GIRL:         He was asking for it.

Kick Ass - After a Fashion - Grant McLaughlin

1 - New York at night.  It's winter.  Kick Ass and Battle-Guy walk across the rooftop of a building.  There is snow pretty much everywhere.  It's up to their knees and the wind is kicking it up and blowing it at and around them.  Battle-Guy holds himself in an attempt to warm up, his teeth chattering.  Kick Ass doesn't seem to be minding the cold quite as much.

BATTLE-GUY: These winter patrols blow.  Can't we just stay in and play video games instead?

KICK ASS: Come on, Marty.  Evil won't take a night off because it's chilly.

2 - Kick Ass stops to look at Battle-Guy.  He isn't terribly impressed with Battle-Guy's lack of dedication.  Battle-Guy, on the other hand, cannot believe Kick Ass isn't take the cold more seriously.  His eyes go wide and he tries to warm himself more vigourously.

BATTLE-GUY: Chilly?  Are you fucking kidding?  It's goddamn frigid!

3 - Kick Ass pauses, looking off to the distance and using one hand to warm his other arm.  Battle-Guy seizes on the opportunity, pointing at his pelvis in disbelief.

KICK ASS (quietly): I guess it is a little cold.

BATTLE-GUY: A little!?  I'm freezing my tunk off here!

4 - Kick Ass relents, rolling his eyes slightly as he walks away from Battle-Guy (and towards the reader).  Behind Kick Ass, Battle-Guy pumps his fist, doing a little celebration at his small victory.

KICK ASS: Fine!  We'll stop by my place if it'll help stop your bitching...

5 - Kick Ass and Battle-Guy walk the streets, now wearing some winter gear, including ugly Christmas sweaters, mittens, and those ridiculous hunting hats with ear flaps.  This is, of course, worn over their costumes, making them look pretty darn silly.  Battle-Guy is upset about this, walking with his arms crossed (in frustration instead of cold) and a petulant expression.  Kick Ass doesn't seem to mind, riding high on the thrill of patrolling.

BATTLE-GUY: We look ridiculous.

KICK ASS: There's nothing wrong with fighting crime in layers.

Kick Ass - Any Questions? - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Kick Ass stands at a podium, surrounded by the media.  He has called a press conference.

KICK ASS

I've called you here today to make an announcement.

2.  Kick Ass is reaching for his mask.  He is pulling it off.

KICK ASS

However as you all know, I believe that actions speak louder than words.

3.  Kick Ass’ identity is revealed.  However it is not David Lizewski but Chris Genovese.

4.  In David’s room.  His hands are on either side of the TV.  He is dumbfounded that this has happened.  On the tv screen Chris is staring right down the camera, smirking.  It is almost as if he is staring directly at Dave through the screen. 

DAVE

No no no no.

CHRIS/KICK ASS

Any questions?

Why Kick Ass?

There is something of a tradition we have around theses parts.

Whenever a comic book related movie is being released, we here at Thought Balloons try and coincide it with the main character (or villain) as the character choice for that week.  This pretty much sums up why Kick Ass was chosen this week.

Now, the real question is do we do this in order to tie in with the movie and get extra hits to the page, or for another reason which I can't think of right now but doesn't make us sound as desperate for your attention?

You decide...

PLEASE LOVE US!

Patsy Walker – Should be Sleeping – Brian Manton

1.
Patsy, four years old, asleep in bed. A stuffed Tigger keeps her company.
Mostly cropped from frame, we can make out the top of her Defenders bed sheets (Namor, Hulk, Dr Strange).

2.
Same shot. The Tooth Fairy flies into frame - a sparkling trail of light marks her path.

3.
The Tooth Fairy stands by the pillow, lifting it up and reaching under.
Patsy, eyes still closed, smiles a big grin - revealing a missing front tooth.

4.
Patsy has lifted her head and looks right at the Fairy, who is holding the tooth from under the pillow. The Fairy is startled.

Patsy:  Hi!

5.
Profile view.
Patsy is sitting up in the bed, knees tucked into her chest.
The Fairy looks confused.

Tooth Fairy:  You can see me?

Patsy:  I can see all you guys.

6.
Patsy is counting on her fingers all the mythical creatures she has seen (two fingers in this frame as she is cut off)
The Fairy has flown a little closer and looks interested.

Tooth Fairy:  Us guys?
Patsy:  Yeah... the Easter Bunny, Santa--

7.
The Tooth Fairy takes up the same pose as Patsy (arms around knees, tucked into chest), perched on Patsy's knee.
Patsy furrows her brow, giving a serious appraisal of Mr. Claus's character.

Tooth Fairy:  You've met Mr. Claus? What's he like?

Patsy:  Jumpy.

8.
Wider shot. We can see the slightly cracked open door with some light shining through from the hallway.
Patsy lies back down in the bed and pulls the covers tight around herself.
The Fairy waves goodnight.

Patsy's Mother (from outside the room):  Patsy? Did you call me?

Patsy (whispers):  I gotsta sleep now. See you next tooth!