Kick Ass - After a Fashion - Grant McLaughlin

1 - New York at night.  It's winter.  Kick Ass and Battle-Guy walk across the rooftop of a building.  There is snow pretty much everywhere.  It's up to their knees and the wind is kicking it up and blowing it at and around them.  Battle-Guy holds himself in an attempt to warm up, his teeth chattering.  Kick Ass doesn't seem to be minding the cold quite as much.

BATTLE-GUY: These winter patrols blow.  Can't we just stay in and play video games instead?

KICK ASS: Come on, Marty.  Evil won't take a night off because it's chilly.

2 - Kick Ass stops to look at Battle-Guy.  He isn't terribly impressed with Battle-Guy's lack of dedication.  Battle-Guy, on the other hand, cannot believe Kick Ass isn't take the cold more seriously.  His eyes go wide and he tries to warm himself more vigourously.

BATTLE-GUY: Chilly?  Are you fucking kidding?  It's goddamn frigid!

3 - Kick Ass pauses, looking off to the distance and using one hand to warm his other arm.  Battle-Guy seizes on the opportunity, pointing at his pelvis in disbelief.

KICK ASS (quietly): I guess it is a little cold.

BATTLE-GUY: A little!?  I'm freezing my tunk off here!

4 - Kick Ass relents, rolling his eyes slightly as he walks away from Battle-Guy (and towards the reader).  Behind Kick Ass, Battle-Guy pumps his fist, doing a little celebration at his small victory.

KICK ASS: Fine!  We'll stop by my place if it'll help stop your bitching...

5 - Kick Ass and Battle-Guy walk the streets, now wearing some winter gear, including ugly Christmas sweaters, mittens, and those ridiculous hunting hats with ear flaps.  This is, of course, worn over their costumes, making them look pretty darn silly.  Battle-Guy is upset about this, walking with his arms crossed (in frustration instead of cold) and a petulant expression.  Kick Ass doesn't seem to mind, riding high on the thrill of patrolling.

BATTLE-GUY: We look ridiculous.

KICK ASS: There's nothing wrong with fighting crime in layers.