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Panel 1 - The Amazon jungle. Classic 2-shot. MAJ. "DUTCH" SCHAEFER (left of panel) faces down the PREDATOR. Both are holding very big knives. However, in the PREDATOR's other hand is a pilfered Dimensional JUxtapositioning via Muon Particles (or D-Jump) control pad. He activates it as "DUTCH" prepares to attack.
"DUTCH": Bleed, bastard!!
SoundFX (D-Jump): vooOP!
Panel 2 - Back alley somewhere in L.A. Same positions, except "DUTCH" is now the T-800 TERMINATOR, holding two sawed-off shotguns.
T-800: Hasta la vista...bay-bee!
SoundFX (D-Jump): vooOP!
Panel 3 - In a cinderblock cellar/bunker. Same positions, except the T-800 is now JOHN MATRIX (from Commando), levelling a SAW at the PREDATOR (who is now starting to look concerned).
MATRIX: I eat Green Berets for breakfast! And right now, I'm very hungry!
SoundFX (D-Jump): vooOP!
Panel 4 - Rooftop in Gotham City. Same positions, except now it's MR: FREEZE and his cold-gun. The PREDATOR grows more frustrated.
MR. FREEZE: Chill!!!
SoundFX (D-Jump): vooOP!
Panel 5 - Abandoned movie theatre. Now JACK SLATER and a giant revolver, cigar between his teeth.
SLATER: Rubber baby buggy bumpers!
SoundFX (D-Jump): vooOP!
Panel 6 - The desert of Hyborea. CONAN, huge sword. The PREDATOR now pounding the D-Jump with his fist.
CONAN: Crush your enemies! See them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women!
SoundFX (D-Jump): vooOO-oowOOWooPbth!!!
Panel 7 - White background. The PREDATOR, right, is now facing, left: "DUTCH", the T-800, MATRIX, MR. FREEZE, SLATER, and CONAN, plus JOHN KIMBLE (from Kindergarten Cop), DOUGLAS QUAID (from 90's Total Recall) and TURBO-MAN (from Jingle All the Way), all of whom are about to jump PREDATOR's @$$. The PREDATOR has an "I'm screwed" air about him, a kind of failure posture as the D-Jump smokes smashed in his hand.
KIMBLE: It's not a too-mah!
TURBO-MAN: It's Turbo Time!
QUAID: Who the hell am I?!?
PREDATOR: ¿#@&%!
CAPTION: ....Th-th-th-that's all, folks!!!
Really funny script Ray. Great idea.
ReplyDeleteI think your last panel would land better without the "That's All Folks!"
This was hilarious. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteLove it. Best use of Arnold Schwarzenegger many movie personalities (and one-liners) that I've seen in a long time, which considering my love for his many roles, should be taken as high praise. :)
ReplyDelete