Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Twilight Zone – Waiting – Shaun Richens.


The interior of a clean yet somewhat homely doctors waiting room. Sunlight shines in through the window, as patients wait in that awkward silence that comes as part of the atmosphere of a doctor’s practise. One of these patients is MAGGIE.

She is an attractive young woman, but she is clearly lacking in confidence. Her outfit feminine but understated. She sits with a quiet grace about herself. Her hands in her lap, she pulls at a loose thread in her knitted cardigan.

A middle aged Indian man sits next Maggie.

Mr Patel the Doctor is ready for you.

Repeat panel. However the Indian man has gone and now a young family, Mum, dad and two-year-old daughter Ellie sit on the other side of Maggie. Maggie’s hair looks longer and she seems a little tired.

Did you want to bring little Ellie in now? We are ready for her.

Repeat panel. Now the young family have left. Two young men sit together heads close as they chat and smile at one and other.

Maggie looks ten years old. Wrinkles creep up next to her sweet little smile and her long hair is now streaked with silvery grey sparkles.

Mr Quinn can follow me this way.

Repeat panel. The two young men are now done. Maggie is an old woman, her long hair is all white, her face a map of wrinkles. Her knitted cardigan rests over her knees. Her head is down her eyes closed tight. No one else is waiting to go in.


Repeat panel, but pull in closer on Maggie. A pregnant woman rests her hand on Maggie’s shoulder. We can’t see the pregnant woman’s face as it is off panel. Her baby bump is massive; she looks like she is due any day now.

Excuse me madam do you mind if I go in ahead of you?

My wee princess is being rather playful today.

Small panel. Close on the pregnant woman’s hand on Maggie’s shoulder.

Are you ok?

Just want to say a huge farewell to Mr Dan Hill on his last week writing with us here at Thoughtballoons. You’re one hell of a writer and an even better bloke. You’ll be very missed around these parts, but I can’t wait to read all the many projects I know you’re cooking up.

 I wish you all the very best for future mate. Don’t be a stranger.  


  1. Great script Shaun. Very cinematic. I pictured it with time lapses as she ages. (Though this is comics... I should be picturing it as comics!)

    Great work.

  2. I like this one. It has that air of the mysterious and bizarre that the show has. But it also works as a kind of metaphor for those who wait, those who wait for permission never wanting to rock the boat and suffering because of it.

    And cheers for the kind words, it's been a blast. Now to just put my money where my mouth is and get some comics out there.

    I'll be around :D


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