Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Simpsons - A Retort - Grant McLaughlin

1 – Homer stands on top of a high building (since I can't really think of any high buildings in Springfield, maybe it's one of the big stacks at the Nuclear Power Plant?). He has a hand cover his eyes and is in the process of stepping off the building to kill himself. Frame this to give an idea that Homer is high up and the fall will not do him good.

HOMER: Goodbye, cruel w--

VOICE (off-panel): Homer, wait!

2 – Switch to an over the shoulder shot looking toward Homer. He stops, looking up in awe and surprise, as the figure whose shoulder we're looking over is none other than Superman (please note that in this and subsequent panels, we should not be able to see below Superman's belt unless noted otherwise).

HOMER (big letters to show his surprise – maybe do it up as the Superman logo) (1): Superman?!

HOMER (regular size letters) (2): What are you doing here?

3 – Superman floats awkwardly in front of Homer, scratching the back of his head in that embarrassed way people do.

SUPERMAN (1): I would have been here sooner, but this town is almost impossible to find.

SUPERMAN (2): ...

SUPERMAN (3): Uh, I mean, I'm here to help! What's wrong?

4 – Focus on Homer as he bares his soul to Superman.

HOMER (1): I don't know. Instead of really living my life, lately it feels like I've only been going through the motions.

HOMER (2): I'm starting to wonder if my kids will ever grow up.

HOMER (3): And it feels like I disappoint Marge on a weekly basis.

HOMER (4): It's as if everything has been stuck on repeat for God knows how long.

5 – Superman looks at Homer with patience and understanding.

SUPERMAN (1): I understand. We all live through hills and valleys.

SUPERMAN (2): And while the hills can be so high they feel like mountaintops, the valleys can be so low it feels like there's no bottom to hit.

SUPERMAN (3): But lows – no matter how low – don't mean that highs never happened or even that they'll never come back.

6 – Superman puts a hand on Homer's shoulder in a reassuring manner. Superman smiles a small smile of hope, which Homer is starting to feel as well.

SUPERMAN (1): Everyone feels that way sometimes, but it's never as bad as it seems.

SUPERMAN (2): Trust me.

7 – Homer and Superman hug. It's heartfelt as all get out.

HOMER: Thanks, Superman.

8 – Pseudo-repeat of panel 7. Homer continues the hug, but his question to Superman causes Superman to open his eyes in awkward surprise.

HOMER (1): ...

HOMER (2): What's up with your pants?

9 – Focus on Superman. Full body shot that reveals he's actually in his New 52 getup and not the classic Superman Underwear On The Outside look that you might expect (or hope for). Superman looks awkward again.

SUPERMAN: Let's just say you're not the only one going through a low right now...


I was thinking of something else originally, but I felt the need to provide some sort of defense to The Simpsons in light of Ben's script.  While I haven't watched the show on a regular basis in quite some time, dead after Season 8 seems a little too strong for my blood.  But to each their own.


  1. If any classic character from pop culture were to give such a pick-me up, you definitely picked the right one. :^)

    It's also definitely a nice turnaround from the morbid nature of Ben's script - while he has a point about how long the show has gone on, and I know that it's not hard for people to argue that it should have ended years ago, a page like this really helps put things in perspective and is a nice counterpoint to Ben's point.

  2. Homer's lines in p4 are perfect. Great page Grant.

  3. Also, if Homer were to top himself, I think the perfect place to jump from would be from the top of the Lard Lad donut :)


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