Saturday, December 14, 2013

Bob's Burgers - Gets TB! - R.A. Wonsowski

  • The set-up:  The unthinkable has happened - a McDonald's has opened next door to Bob's Burgers...

Panel 1 - ...BOB (left) stands in front of his storefront, fuming angrily, as SIMON MCDONALD (right) struts to the sidewalk space before his McDonald's, carrying a sandwich board sign.

Panel 2 - BOB starts scrabbling furiously at his slate sandwich board with a piece of chalk.  SIMON's is whiteboard with marker.  He stands pridefully,one hand resting upon the sign that reads: BEN's ROAST'n'ALL sandwich - a 1/2 lb. Roast Beef sandwich on a toasted bun with all the fixin's.

Panel 3 - BOB reveals his blackboard sign: the FRYIN' MAN-TON - 2/3 pound of shredded crispy deep-fried grilled burger topped with fried onions, fried tomatoes, and fried jalepeños, on a french-fried roll.  SIMON, meanwhile, reworks his sign in cartoonish clouds of dust.

Panel 4 - SIMON now stands smugly by his sign which now reads: the GRAND MAC - 3/4 lb. burger patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, on a sesame seed bun (patent pending). BOB, more angry, reworks his sign.

Panel 5 - BOB glowers at SIMON as he reveals his sign: the J.D. - 7/8 lb. burger, marinated in Jack Daniels, topped with Jack-Denby cheese and crispity frizzled onions.  SIMON reworks his sign again.

Panel 6 - SIMON angrily reveals his sign: the BIG MK - 1 pound of all-beef pattie, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, on a sesame seed bun (patent still pending). BOB furiously works again.

Panel 7 - BOB shoots daggers out his eyes as we read his sign: a caricature of Terrance Stamp's ZOD reads: KNEEL, JACK.O.B. - 5 quarter-pound patties topped with pepperjack, onions, and baked beans.  SIMON, near exhaustion, gives his sign one more go.

Panel 8 - SIMON, sweating, shows off his sign: RYAN's KI-LO - One full kilogram of beef, topped with cheddar, avocado, and crunch pork rinds.  BOB, lightbulb over his head, finishes his sign.

Panel 9 - BOB, arms crossed over his chest in victory, stands by his sign: the 1-SOW-SKI! - 1 kilo of chopped sirloin, topped with a pound of bacon, sandwiched between two skids of fried pork chop - comes with a side of Fried Chicken. (For the ladies: toss Shaun's Richest salad!).  SIMON carries off his sign down the sidewalk in defeat as we see his McDonald's is now closed.


  1. Puntastic! You really take the cake, or burger, this week. I love a good pun-off.


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