Bob's Burgers - Gets TB! - R.A. Wonsowski

• The set-up:  The unthinkable has happened - a McDonald's has opened next door to Bob's Burgers...

Panel 1 - ...BOB (left) stands in front of his storefront, fuming angrily, as SIMON MCDONALD (right) struts to the sidewalk space before his McDonald's, carrying a sandwich board sign.

Panel 2 - BOB starts scrabbling furiously at his slate sandwich board with a piece of chalk.  SIMON's is whiteboard with marker.  He stands pridefully,one hand resting upon the sign that reads: BEN's ROAST'n'ALL sandwich - a 1/2 lb. Roast Beef sandwich on a toasted bun with all the fixin's.

Panel 3 - BOB reveals his blackboard sign: the FRYIN' MAN-TON - 2/3 pound of shredded crispy deep-fried grilled burger topped with fried onions, fried tomatoes, and fried jalepeños, on a french-fried roll.  SIMON, meanwhile, reworks his sign in cartoonish clouds of dust.

Panel 4 - SIMON now stands smugly by his sign which now reads: the GRAND MAC - 3/4 lb. burger patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, on a sesame seed bun (patent pending). BOB, more angry, reworks his sign.

Panel 5 - BOB glowers at SIMON as he reveals his sign: the J.D. - 7/8 lb. burger, marinated in Jack Daniels, topped with Jack-Denby cheese and crispity frizzled onions.  SIMON reworks his sign again.

Panel 6 - SIMON angrily reveals his sign: the BIG MK - 1 pound of all-beef pattie, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, on a sesame seed bun (patent still pending). BOB furiously works again.

Panel 7 - BOB shoots daggers out his eyes as we read his sign: a caricature of Terrance Stamp's ZOD reads: KNEEL, JACK.O.B. - 5 quarter-pound patties topped with pepperjack, onions, and baked beans.  SIMON, near exhaustion, gives his sign one more go.

Panel 8 - SIMON, sweating, shows off his sign: RYAN's KI-LO - One full kilogram of beef, topped with cheddar, avocado, and crunch pork rinds.  BOB, lightbulb over his head, finishes his sign.

Panel 9 - BOB, arms crossed over his chest in victory, stands by his sign: the 1-SOW-SKI! - 1 kilo of chopped sirloin, topped with a pound of bacon, sandwiched between two skids of fried pork chop - comes with a side of Fried Chicken. (For the ladies: toss Shaun's Richest salad!).  SIMON carries off his sign down the sidewalk in defeat as we see his McDonald's is now closed.