Penny Arcade - Something to Crow About - Grant McLaughlin

I've long been a big Penny Arcade fan, but some of my all time favourite characters have always been Carl and the Deep Crow.  So without being too esoteric (okay, with being pretty danged esoteric), you should probably follow some of these hyperlinks for this script to make much sense if you aren't familiar with the arcane creature and the man who tamed it (if it's any consolation, those four strips are pretty much the only ones these characters appear in, so it isn't hard to get caught up).

With apologies:

1 – Carl, now an old man, lies in a hospital bed. Next to him is the colossal Deep Crow. Both should be within the panel, emphasizing how ridiculous the situation is (while still playing it straight). While Carl's in a hospital gown, he still wears his “Brogan” exterminator trucker cap. He knows his time is nearly come, but that doesn't upset him. He smiles tiredly, rubbing the Deep Crow tenderly on its hellish beak. The Deep Crow's body language is sad and demure, as it dabs at its many eyes with a giant handkerchief held by one of its talons.

CARL (1): We both know we had a good run. And it lasted far longer than either of us ever could have hoped.

CALR (2): So no tears.

2 – Closer-up, the Deep Crow puts on a brave face, standing straighter and lowering the handkerchief (which should be off-panel). Carl's smile remains, but his eyes close as his hand falls from the Deep Crow's beak. If possible, have the word balloon tailoff to represent his passing.

CARL (1): That's a good girl.

CARL (2): That's a pretty--

3 – The Deep Crow is perched on top of a tall building, ripping it to shreds in anger.   Its wings are spread wide and its maw bellows in a horrible rage.  Small planes attempt to bombard it with bombs, but man's weaponry is no match for this ancient beast. In the fore and backgrounds, the city is on fire, burning under the Deep Crow's destructive power.

DEEP CROW: CAWKRAAA!