Friday, February 28, 2014

Donkey Kong - Just Another Day On The Job - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: we see 2 plumbers in the boiler room of a building. One is thin and wears a green shirt under his overalls, the other is rotund and wears a red shirt under his. They are hard at work.

NO COPY

Panel 2: The building is rattled and steam starts shooting out from many places, startling the plumbers.

SFX: K-KKKKSKSKHSHSHSH!

Panel 3: The plumbers are running through the building lobby, and are surprised to see shipping containers falling around them.

SFX: KSSHHH! KRRRRKKKK! WHHHHHHHN!

Panel 4: The plumbers look up through a hole in the ceiling, and see a giant monkey on what is left of the top floor, a shipping plane in one hand, a beautiful woman in the other.

Monkey: GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRAARAAAAAARAAAAAR!

4 comments:

  1. Not going to lie, this is kind of a lackluster script as far as I can tell.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like the idea, but as MK says, it's missing a certain je ne sais quoi to make the whole thing sing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally dig the ideas. The opening two panels make for a nice build and your smashing of universes is super fun and a neat theme to play with. I's just love to seen this expanded upon slightly. This was good, but could have been a killer page.

    2.5/5

    ReplyDelete

Feedback is what every good writer wants and needs, so please provide it in the white box below
-OR-
If you want to play along at home, feel free to put your scripts under the Why? post for the week.