Friday, March 21, 2014

GODLAND - This Is Why We Can Never Go Anywhere Nice! - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Nickelhead is sitting sullenly in his lair, the skull of Basil Cronus in his tank next to him.

Nickelhead: GOD DAMNIT. GOD. DAMNIT.

Cronus: ANOTHER PLAN GONE WRONG? WHAT YOU NEED IS A VACATION. SOMEWHERE NICE, WITH LOTS OF CHEAP, EASILY AVAILABLE NARCOTICS AND HALLUCINOGENS!

Nickelhead: I GET THAT THIS IS ANOTHER CHEAP SCHEME TO GET ME TO GIVE YOU MORE DRUGS, BUT THIS TIME I THINK YOU ACTUALLY MIGHT BE ON TO SOMETHING.

Panel 2: Nickelhead stands outside the gates to Disney Land, Basil's tank in one hand. Nickelhead is irate, shouting at the attendant.

Nickelhead: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON'T LET US IN THE PARK?

Attendant: I'M SORRY SIR, BUT YOU JUST WOULDN'T GET PAST THE METAL DETECTORS, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT YOUR LITTLE BUDDY THERE.

Basil: AH, HE CAN GO SCREW, LET'S GO FIND OUR OWN HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!

Panel 3: Nickelhead is fleeing from a band of angry Floridians, with torches and pitchforks. We can see police, gang members, alligators, all sorts of shit.

Basil: I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, ALRIGHT?

Nickelhead: WHEN WE GET BACK TO THE LAIR, I'LL MAKE YOU SORRIER THAN YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN YOUR LIFE, YOU SKELETAL SIMPLETON!

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