LEGO - Legoland Theatre Presents: MIRACLEMAN! - by R.A. Wonsowski

NOTE:  Writer's block struck me as well, so this week, I am...co-opting...a few ideas from Messr. Alan Moore.  Enjoy!

Layout:
123
456
778

Rather than drawn, it would be supremely cool to see this actually built out of LEGO and photographed/shopped...

Panel 1 - Crisis at the Legoland Power Plant!  Lego TERRORISTS (3) have taken over the control room, carrying plasticky machine guns.  Lego PLANT WORKERS in hard hats have their u-shaped hands up as the plant is about to go critical.  Lego MIKE MORAN is tied up on the floor, as he looks to the door, plastiglass window with "Atomic" written on it observed in reverse.

BOSS TERRORIST:  We're the hippie, peace-loving nature-lovers!  And we will kill everyone and destroy everything if this plant isn't shut down!

MIKE MORAN:  ...k...K...


Panel 2:  An explosion of LEGO pieces, and in the middle of the panel, built out of red LEGO, is the Word:  KIMOTA!


Panel 3:  Lego MIRACLEMAN beats up the TERRORISTS, flying through the air in a flurry of fists.  The TERRORISTS cannot resist; the BOSS is flying toward us bloodied.

MIRACLEMAN:  Beware! I am loosely based on the creations of C.C. Beck!

BOSS TERRORIST:  And EDGY!


Panel 4:  From between a Lego woman's legs, the round Lego head of Miracleman's BABY has crowned and burst through, smiling wide-eyed and mock-innocently, ready to be guided out of the birth canal by MIRACLEMAN's u-shaped hands...

MIRACLEMAN:  Behold!  The cosmic miracle of childbirth!

BABY:  VERY disturbing!


Panel 5:  Lego KID MIRACLEMAN, with a plastic pipe through his bloody torso, is about to destroy Lego MIRACLEMAN, but is caught unawares by a transformative explosion.

KID MIRACLEMAN:  A-ha !! MIRACLEMAN!

Sound FX:  kaBOOM!

KID MIRACLEMAN:  ...crap...


Panel 6:  Amidst the street rubble, Lego MIRACLEMAN, face in a tortured expression of anguish, has twisted off the head of Lego JOHNNY BATES (the boy alter ego of Kid Miracleman), which looks annoyingly surprised.  Lego BATES's headless body lies across MIRACLEMAN's lap, and is not wearing pants.

MIRACLEMAN:  I'm sorry...This is the only way to save London...and YOU, Johnny!

JOHNNY'S HEAD:  Hey!


Panel 7:  The infamous (NSFW!) final pages of Miracleman #15, done entirely in LEGO, using scrap cloth, Tinkertoys, Hot Wheels cars, broken pieces of plastic, deli meat, whatever you can find - should look like Ted Bundy and Ed Gein's 4th grade diarama...

CAPTION:  Ta-DAA!!

CAPTION:  So, guys, whaddaya think?


Panel 8:  The psychiatrist from Watchmen, DR. MALCOLM LONG, sits across a table from ME, holding up another Rorschach blot card.  Fellow THOUGHTBALLOONERS watch through the observation window.

DR. LONG:  And this one?

ME:  Some pretty flowers...

...seeya next week!