Monday, June 23, 2014

Spider-Ham - A Rose By Any Other - Grant McLaughlin

Each panel is a different scene taking place at a different moment in time.  The exact moment isn't particularly important.

1 - The Rhino (who is a rhino) sits on the street, defeated.  Spider-Ham has bent a steel beam around him like a rope, restraining the fallen villain.  Spider-Ham stands nearby, delivering a zinger, which angers Rhino.

SPIDER-HAM: I know I've said it before, but you really should have thought twice before charging into that moniker.

2 - The Vulture (who is a vulture) hangs upside down by some Spider-Ham web from a lamppost, restrained.  Spider-Ham sits atop the post, looking down at him and cracking wise.

SPIDER-HAM: I know you're a scavenger by trade, but you should have looked harder when searching for an appropriate epithet.

3 - Spider-Ham rides the Lizard (again: a lizard) like a cowboy on a bucking bronco in the sewers under the city.  It's clear that Spider-Ham is going to come out on top of this confrontation.

SPIDER-HAM: Did the full scale of picking an appellation cause you to slither away in fear?

4 - The Chameleon (who - well, you probably get it by now) sits at a desk in an office, his hands webbed to the desk.  Spider-Ham holds a mask that looks like a rabbit that he has clearly removed from the Chameleon.

SPIDER-HAM: For someone so keen on disguise, you sobriquet is mighty transparent, my friend.

5 - Spider-Ham dodges out of the way as the Jackal (you know the drill) throws a heavy looking object at him.

SPIDER-HAM: Was there a mix-up at the hospital?  Have you ever checked to see whether your species might be listed as 'Bob'?

6 - Spider-Ham delivers a mean right hook to Beetle (you guessed it), which looks to be the last blow of this battle.

SPIDER-HAM: Does not having an imagination ever bug you?

7 - Scorpion (yep, him too) stands in an open hall - let's say a Community Centre of some variety.  He stands at a table, signing a form of some variety.  Many of the villains seen in these earlier panels can be sitting behind the table - they wear the bruises and blows that they've received from these previous encounters with Spider-Ham.  Scorpion is in the midst of asking a question that he quickly realizes the answer to.  The other villains look back at him, unimpressed.  A large banner hangs on the wall behind them reading "Today: Sign-Ups for the League of Poorly Named Villains".

SCORPION (1): I'm all for the cause, but couldn't we have come up with a better na--

SCORPION (2): ...

SCORPION (3): Right.


  1. I like it, and I like what you're aiming for, but there's something I can't put my finger on about seems like it's missing.

  2. There are a lot of panels on the page, and as you have put it in your script (the 'you guessed it' notes to the editor) the gag is done after the first three panels.
    I think by making this shorter you would have had a bigger impact on the gag in the end. At the moment it is just too drawn out. Less is more.


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