(6 Panels)
Panel 1: The headquarters of a criminal organization.
The organizations LEADER and an OFFICER are standing next to a table covered in
various planning materials, including numerous papers.
TELEVISON: …are unsure as to who was behind the failed
attack, but did state that it is currently their top priority.
Panel 2: The LEADER turns to the OFFICER.
LEADER: Explain to me again how our carefully and
brilliantly constructed plan to assassinate the very head of ARC-7 itself failed?
Panel 3: The OFFICER gets defensive as he tries to
avoid getting any further ire thrown his way.
OFFICER: It was his secretary! Somehow she made a mockery of
the entire operation!
Panel 4: The LEADER facepalms.
LEADER: And nobody, not once, ever considered she might come
into play somehow?
OFFICER: We didn’t have anything to give us reason to
suspect…
Panel 5: The LEADER flips the table over in a burst
of rage.
LEADER: WELL THEN SOMEONE ROYALLY &%$#^* UP BIG-TIME!
Panel 6: The LEADER rushes to get in the OFFICER’s
face.
LEADER: OUR ENTIRE OPERATION – OUR ENTIRE ORGANIZATON – IS
IN JEPORDY OF BEING COMPROMISED BECAUSE EVERYONE
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO WRITE OFF HIS SECRETARY AS A NOBODY!
(END PAGE)
I like the idea of the reader knowing who the secretary is, and do like that Velvet doesn't appear but the page is very much all about her.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that didn't sit well with me is the dialogue. It seems a tad too expositionary (unless that is what you were going for - Bond Villain dialogue). I feel with some tightening up of the dialogue and perhaps combining one or two of the panels this could be a really tight page.